


The Human Factor

by Sexydoorframes



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, HPFT, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-07-12 06:29:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7089040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sexydoorframes/pseuds/Sexydoorframes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Watch as structure disintegrates<br/>Change is the enemy<br/>Flaws are exposed<br/>Love is a poison<br/>Self destruction is the goal<br/>Let's discover what makes us human<br/>The road to hell is paved with bad intentions...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The One Where It All Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I had been tricked.

**Chapter One** -  
_The One Where It All Begins_

  
_Amazing chapter image by shudder @ TDA_

 

“Now, can we find out whether I am a murderer or not?” – Albus Potter 

I have made many mistakes in my life, but the one that really takes the biscuit is this; trusting Albus Potter for a single second. I should never have trusted him.  If I had just said “no, I don’t really want that chocolate bunny”, I would happily be poking a first year until they cried.

Confused? Good… Okay!  Alright! You’ve worn me down; I’ll tell you about my woeful day.

It began (and is still happening) on a grisly Tuesday.  I was strolling though Hogwarts minding my own business, when I came across two boys whispering like old women.  I should have just turned around and wiped the whole thing from my memory.  Not that it would be easy, I have an excellent memory so I’d probably end up Obliviating myself and turn out like Gilderoy Lockhart.  I mean, I can still remember when I broke my brother’s nose after whacking him in the face with a gnome.  I was four and had anger problems. He'd chucked some dirt on me, so I broke his nose. Fair, yes?  See? It’s excellent. Alright, so I cannot remember where I put my Remembrall and I can’t remember when my potions essay needs to be in but apart from those minor details, my memory is awesome. Anyway, so I had discovered two boys whispering in the hallway. Unfortunately for me that these boys were Albus Potter, a raven haired pale devil and Scorpius Malfoy, a stupid blonde boy who once tied me around a tree for six hours. It was originally a game but he ended up forgetting about me.  Thus, I got the worse cold ever and started a cold epidemic.  Scorpius somehow, ended up avoiding the cold and came down with the flu instead. So it was all fair in the end really. 

It took them all of five seconds to spot me. “Pippa.” Albus spoke, his voice calm as Scorpius chewed on his bottom lip. The boy has a habit of thinking his bottom lip is bubble gum. Albus eyes narrowed. “How much did you hear?” 

I felt a little bit like I was on the set of some spy film. 

I pondered the answer to Albus’ question. In all honesty? Nothing but I lied of course. “All of it.” I smirked, like the evil genius that I was.

Albus wasn’t fazed but Scorpius shrieked a little. “Really?” 

Erm…. “Yes.” 

Albus stepped closer to me; he would have invaded my personal space, if I had any.  “What are you going to do about it?” He stared at me with that intense look that he’s perfected. The boy actually needs to take a chill pill once in a while in my opinion. In fact, he could do with one all the time.  “Tell the professors?” He was challenging me, I knew that and I relished in it.

“No. I’m telling your momma!” I blurted out as Albus raised his eyebrow. Momma? I need to stop watching those Muggle TV shows that my brother is addicted too. We watch them in secret as dad thinks they’re filth. It's true though, they are filth. Everyone gets pregnant, parties even when sleep deprived, drinks too much before the love of the life saves them from self destructing. Then usually they get their happy ending or die tragically in an angst overdose. Either way, someone cries and I don't like it when people cry. Crying is for babies.

Scorpius gasped and I was getting closer to hitting the boy. He acts like a girl too much. 

Albus laughed. “Really?”  I nodded. Once again, I was lying. I wasn’t going to write to his mother; that’s just embarrassing and I’m a Slytherin. We don’t do embarrassing; we’re too cool for that. 

Please stop rolling your eyes now. 

You’re hurting my feelings. 

I’d cry for effect if I didn’t think crying was for wussies. Plus, my face goes all blotchy and it really isn’t a good look. 

“We’re scared.” He mocked me. “Aren’t we Scorpius?” Scorpius looked around to check if there was anyone else called Scorpius  before deciding that Albus was referring to him. Albus smacked himself lightly on the forehead because his best friend is an idiot. “Anyway, I’ll trade your silence for…something.” Albus eyes glinted in the light. 

Scorpius pulled out a chocolate bunny covered in gold paper, it had a little bell around its neck. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen . I’m a girl and I love chocolate, yes, I know I’m a walking cliché but they are called clichés for a reason. “This?” It looked delicious. I wanted it; I was going to have it. Even if I had to kick a puppy to get it, I would. Nothing would stop me biting off that bunny’s head before eating its arms. 

“She’s never going to fall for that-“

“- Deal!” I said snatching the bunny out of Scorpius hands. I stared at the bunny. I think I was drooling. 

Albus looked deep in thought for a moment before speaking. “There is another bunny in that cupboard. That’s where Scorpius got it from.”

My eyes widened as I ran into the cupboard. Only to have the door shut behind me.

“Idiot.” Albus muttered as he turned the key in the door. “See you later Nott.”

I had been tricked! 

I thundered on the door for a long time to no avail after I discovered that the cupboard was completely devoid of chocolate; this made me completely pissed off and annoyed, with Albus, life and mostly myself. I wish I had never run into this stupid cupboard. Sometimes my thinking process just shuts down. 

I need to work on that. 

  …No one was coming to be my prince in tin foil. I think that’s the saying anyway. I munched on the chocolate bunny. It was delicious; it could have been poisoned for all I cared. 

I wish I had my wand. I left it underneath my pillow. Which frankly is idiotic but that’s me. I didn’t realize I didn’t have it until I was half way to dinner and I didn’t think there was much point in going back to get it. I mean, I know everyone wants to kill Slytherins but I didn’t think they’d try on this sunny afternoon. I mean, it just wouldn’t make sense. You need dark, depressing weather to make stuff like that more dramatic. 

I hummed softly to myself trying to come up with a plan.

…Nope, I got nothing. 

I slid down to sit on the dirty floor. I cringed, but I would have to take two baths later. I hated germs with a passion. 

So, with nothing to do, I sat there, rocking like a mad woman. Forwards, then backwards. Forwards, then backwards. It seemed like an eternity. I imagined this was like Azkaban: no wonder granddad is crazy. 

“I can’t believe you locked her in a cupboard!” I heard my brother complain from outside.  If you looked at us, you probably wouldn’t know we’re siblings, we look nothing alike. Where as I am small, weedy and frail looking, my brothers physique reminds me of a bear. He’s a year older than me and he never lets me forget it. Sometimes he made my life hell just because he thought he was trying to protect me but when I punched that girl he was seeing, he went loony. I didn’t get that. It’s always one rule for him, another for me. Plus, I had a good reason for punching that girl; she called me babe. “Pass the salt babe.” I mean, who actually says that? Damien didn’t speak to me for two weeks and James Potter told me my brother was ‘deeply hurt’ or something. I just thought it was his time of the month. James was my brother’s best friend; they went everywhere together. It was annoying but I had grown accustomed to it. 

Just because I look like a wimp doesn’t mean I am one. It comes in handy though, I guess, people tend to underestimate me and that is when I curse them. 

“That’s awful Albus.” James scolded. “I mean, what did Pippa ever do to you? And don’t roll your eyes at me!” 

“It was only a joke.” I could practically feel the shrug in his tone. It made my blood boil. 

I could have died! I could have been eaten by spiders. I could have caught a tramps disease from this dirty floor.  Anything could have happened really. 

That’s when my brilliant plan sprang to mine. I would pretend I was dead or at the very least unconscious. This would then make Albus feel bad and he would come near me. This is when I would jump him and beat the life out of him.

Good plan right?

I organised myself on the floor. I placed my arms out on either side and tried to make myself comfortable, which was impossible. Ah the pain of revenge! I was going for the damsel in distress look. I wasn’t sure I was pulling it off to be honest. 

“Pippa? Are you in there?” Damien asked. He seemed a bit worried, I wanted to answer him but dead people don’t speak. Not unless their ghosts and I don’t think I could pass for a ghost. I’m not pale enough nor am I transparent. So fail really.

“Of course she’s in there.” Scorpius said brightly. “We locked her inside.”

“Thanks for that genius.” Damien snapped. “If you’ve killed my sister, you’re paying for a new one.” There was silence for a moment. “Shut up, I know that didn’t make sense.”

“You can have ours.” James replied cheerfully. “She fancies you.”

“…That’s nice to know.”

“That’s why she kept on coming into my bedroom to see if you would have your top off.” James mused before laughing at the stalking tendencies of his baby sister. This family is weird. 

I wish they would shut up now; I am laying here ‘dying’ for merlin’s sake! This shows how much they care doesn’t it? Just wait until Damien is in trouble and then I’ll get my revenge. 

It would be time for ‘mwhaha’ but I have to remain silent. 

“If you had your top off in James’ room, I’d start asking questions.” Albus added. “Now, can we find out whether I am a murderer or not?”  I hoped Albus was close to tears but his voice was calm; as always. He didn’t care. 

I swore revenge on him then. 

“Give me the key.” Damien ordered. He inserted the key in the lock. I shut my eyes and the door swung open. “What the hell?” Damien said confused. “Did you kill my sister then shove her in this cupboard?” Damien asked in the same voice he used to ask if he could have toast in the morning. “Cause my dads going to be pretty annoyed, I’m supposed to look after her.”

Fine job you’re doing here Damien. 

“She was fine when she ran into there earlier.” Albus shrugged. “Maybe she bumped her head? Or choked on that chocolate bunny ‘cause she acted like a big fatty and tried to eat it all at once.”

I tried not to scowl but it was difficult. 

“Oh my!” Scorpius was pacing. “I’m going to get sent to Azkaban for assisting a murder!” Scorpius gasped. “My dad is going to kill me! And my mum, she’ll cry!” She will you know, Scorpius is her world. I have no idea why.

“Haven’t you noticed she’s breathing?” Albus said in a ‘duh’ tone. He walked over to me and leant down. “See, her chest it moving; that’s usually a sign of breathing!” 

This is when I sprang back to life and grabbed Albus’ collar so I could face him, eye to eye, nose to nose, lips to lips, that sort of thing. 

Albus yelped, Damien cursed, James shouted and Scorpius screamed like a little girl. 

I had pulled Albus too close because I felt his breath tickle my face. I ignored that, like I said earlier, I don’t have personal space issues unless you’re smelly. Then you have to stay away from me. “You are an idiot.” I yelled at him. He just stared back at me with those annoying emerald eyes. “I will get you back for that! I’m so hungry I could eat a hippo and it’s your entire fault, Potter.” I continued to ramble to him. “That was just pure mean, Ice boy.” I gibbered, I wanted to be mean, I wanted to be cool and all that was coming out of my mouth was nonsense and it was laughable. 

Albus smiled at me and I wanted to punch him for it. Albus was many things; he was often described untouchable, which was the opposite of his brother who was an open book ready to be absorbed and read. Albus on the other hand had shut out the world despite it’s pleadings to be let in. No one could open that door. Not the girls that promised to love him forever or the boys who had promised to watch his back.

 Sometimes it was like he wasn’t even there, an ice sculpture that grew harder every day. Of course, he had an Achilles' heel, the moment where he sprang to life.  The one moment when you felt that Albus was actually human and that was when he smiled. 

Despite being colder that snow, his smile sets everything ablaze. It was warm, it sparked your soul and I almost found myself smiling back. I refused, I wouldn’t. My scowl was my armour. My insides felt like they were going to combust and I would let them burn into dust before I gave in. 

You wouldn’t see this smile often, but when you did, it would haunt you. I’m not even sure he knew what his smile even did to people, if he did, I’m sure I wouldn’t be on the receiving end of one as I am now.

“What are you smiling at?” The words were ragged but I didn’t care. “Tell me.” I ordered forcefully. 

The smile faded into that dead look of his. “You,” He said laughing. “I’m smiling because you’re so ridiculous and I find that funny.”

I blushed, not just from embarrassment but from anger. It was a familiar feeling. “I…you…I” I couldn’t get my words out; they felt like they were strangling me. It didn’t help that a lump was rising in my throat. I cursed myself; I should be stronger than this. 

I Philippia Nott did not let anyone win. It was my thing, it was my life. That may be sad but I don’t care.  It was all that I had. 

“What Nott? Did I upset you?” He teased. “I thought you’re meant to be a little tough girl? But you’re just like the rest.”

I wasn’t, I couldn’t be. I was special; my mother told me so! 

The clogs in my brain whizzed furiously as I scanned him for a weak spot. Nothing was coming to me so I took a stab in the dark. “I don’t care; be unkind, cause at the end of day all I’m doing is pitying you.” Everyone hates to be pitied. Without waiting for a response I calmly let go of his shirt, got up and walked away as Albus watched me. I felt his eyes tearing a whole into my back but I didn’t know his expression because I never looked behind me. Looking back would show that I cared, that I was bothered.

And I wasn’t.

…Not even a little bit.


	2. The One Where Pippa Can't Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I could clean now.

**Chapter Two –**   
_The One Where Pippa Can’t Sleep_

  
  
_Amazing Chapter Image By SilverThimble@ TDA_

 

  “When is the book out? The useless tales of Philippia Nott?”  
\- Albus Potter  


I am an insomniac. I cannot sleep.  I’ve tried counting things, I’ve tried boring myself to sleep through books, I even did a little jog before I  got wheezy and couldn’t breathe.  The fact remained that I couldn’t sleep. Not one little bit. I stopped taking naps after Damien said I was turning into a grandma and it fixed things for a while; I could sleep, even if it was only for two hours. Though recently my insomnia has come back; I don’t know why. If I knew what caused my sleeping problem, I would fix it. I would fix it quickly because I’m getting jittery over the shadows in the dormitory. 

Alright, I’m a little afraid of the dark. It’s only because I can’t see what’s lurking in the dark; it hides the bad things; only bad things need to hide. Shiny and beautiful things bask in the light.

I cursed quietly to myself as I slipped out of my bed.   I glanced at Cassie, my best friend of six years, but my uneasiness didn’t shift as it normally would.  Usually I felt better by just looking at her but not this time. It was like I was suddenly immune to her shine that she radiated so easily. I wrapped my arms around myself involuntarily. Cassie’s long dark hair was sprawled over her pillow as she slept blissfully. It was this that stopped me from waking her.

I shuddered; I was becoming soft.  

This was a disaster.

I picked up my cleaning supplies and I slipped out of the dormitory into the dungeon hallway.  The green light filtered into the dungeon; it was better than darkness. Anything was.  I hummed softly, feeling the excitement due to the satisfaction that cleaning would give me.  It’s amazing when something is dirty and you scrub it until it shines. It looks like a completely different thing.  The only thing that annoys me is the common room is never really dirty because of the house elves.  So I’m not really getting my praise for being the secret night time common room cleaner.  

Life sucks, sometimes.

I entered the common room and usually pure silence welcomed me, but someone was disturbing it.  Someone was making noise; someone was destroying my haven.  I was confused; I never had to share the common room at this time, it was mine and I don’t share.  I don’t share food; I never shared my toys when I was little. I mean, why start now? There isn’t any point.

There was a silhouette lying on one of the settees. I stomped over to the person, fully intending to wake them up and insult them to a hurtful degree. But I stopped when I got there, because Albus Potter lay there.

I stared at the boy for a couple moments. He was sleeping but I gathered it was anything but a peaceful sleep.   He was drenched in sweat and his face was contorted with pain and terror. It's weird : I was watching Albus Potter having a nightmare.  

I wondered what he would be afraid of.  

Ghosts?  Nope, I’ve seen him having conversations with the Bloody Baron. What about? I don’t know.  That ghost freaks me out a little; I think it’s the blood on his clothing.  If I was a ghost and I was dirty, I’d spend eternity trying to figure out how to get clean or at least another outfit.  Spiders? Nope, I’m not buying that.  James? I laughed a little. Lily? Hmm, that was an idea. I mean she frightens me, especially when she pulled out that scrapbook of my brother she had made. She taped his head onto the body of a penguin because they are her favourite animals. That way she had both of her favourite things at once.  

Lily is crazy.

So after all my thoughts, I still had no idea what was tormenting him so much.

Should I wake him? Release him from this nightmare? I hadn’t made up my mind until he got too agonising it watch.  Man, I really was getting soft.  I need to go and hex someone or go and do something evil. I rubbed my eyes from tiredness…I suppose I’ll do something evil tomorrow. I reached out to wake him but something stopped me from making contact.  I remembered the boy locking me in the cupboard, for what it turned out, was only half an hour.  The time I was in the cupboard didn’t matter, it was the principle.  I suddenly grew angry.  It wasn’t just the cupboard incident; the boy has been mean to me over the years, before he stopped feeling that is.  He once called me teeny, which is offensive for someone as vertically challenged as me.

Alright, I’m out. I suppose we haven’t had as much interaction as I thought. Not in reality anyway.  But still, the anger didn’t fade. The knots in my stomach grew tighter, the breath hitched in my throat as it grew drier with every waking moment. Albus Potter was at my mercy. I couldn’t understand how people could sleep in public places; being asleep makes you vulnerable, especially from angry midgets like me.

I had power, even though it was for a single second, it felt good.

The universe must just love Potter and hates me because that’s when Albus shot straight up in terror. He stared at me like I was transparent.  He was seeing me, but he wasn’t at the same time.  It wasn’t a good feeling.  Then it hit him: I was Pippa Nott and if I was on fire and he had a glass of water; he’d drink it. No worries though, I’d do the same for him. Albus glared at me silently. I raised my eyebrow, I couldn’t take him seriously when he was sweatier than my great aunt Betty and she’s sweaty to the degree that you shower after each hug. Until your mom moans that you keep disappearing to have a shower that is.

Albus stared at me with abhorrence with those dull, beautiful dead eyes of his. He was trying to put up the castle walls that were usually erected between us that had been broken by my witnessing that Albus had problems with sleeping too. I’m surprised he even needed to sleep; obviously when the universe gave him the perfect life, it didn’t give him the perfect mind.   I shook my head; lack of sleep was defiantly making me feel delirious.  I rolled my eyes at his glare, which had not subsided. 

There was a deeply hateful silence between us. The silence made the room and the gap between us seem even bigger. It wasn’t even a good silence; it was deeply uncomfortable but I’d be damned if I was the first person to speak.  

Ho-hum. 

This is fun.

This is about as fun as being eaten alive by a shark.

This must be the longest time no one has spoken in the entire world.

It’s all hunky-dory. 

I think I’m going to speak now. Screw my rules, I’ll be damned. If fact, I’ll relish in being damned, it will be fun. I’ll have hell parties, drinking fire whiskey and dancing. I lie. I won’t do any of that. I don’t do parties because that requires social interaction and niceness, both are not my greatest strengths. The one time I drank fire whiskey, I was sick all over my cat Binksy. I don’t think he has forgiven me yet. I just have no luck with pets. Finally, I don’t dance, I tried but people told me I resembled a robot. I am far too uptight to dance and I’m proud of that. 

I’d dance to that but it would defeat the purpose. 

“I don’t dance.” I told him randomly, I tried to shut up but the words wouldn’t stop. “My father tried to make me do the rhumba once.” Oh my, I have come down with a serious case of foot in mouth syndrome.  “He wanted to spend more time together; he is weird like that.” I am an idiot. “I ended up breaking my ankle because I jumped out of a window to escape and I didn’t realize we weren’t on the ground floor.” Breaking my ankle really hurt; it was fixed five minutes later but that isn’t the point. 

“Thank you for that fascinating snippet.”  Albus mocked.  “When is the book out? The useless tales of Philippia Nott?”

“I would not call my book that!” I scoffed before I realized that wasn’t the real insult. “Anyway,” I scowled at him. “If I was to write a book, it would be a bestseller.” That’s because I’d force everyone to buy it. 

Albus just shook his head. “Is there also a story in there of when you were dropped on the head as a baby?”

“Actually, I think Damien did drop me on the head when I was a baby.” I admitted. “He wanted a muffin and forgot I was in his lap.”  I don’t think I should have told him that. It only makes him look right…crap. What to do? How to get some kind of respect and dignity for myself? Ah! Turn it all on him. “Did you have pleasant dreams?”

It didn’t touch him, I thought he’d crumble or at least look mad. But I got…nothing. 

Zero.

Zilch.

Nada.

How annoying.

Albus stared at me with cold eyes. Something must have happened to make his eyes go cold like that, because the frost doesn’t take over that easily.  “I did thanks. Is there any reason why you aren’t sleep at…?” He checked his watch. I was jealous, my dad won’t let me have a watch, he says it’s too Muggle for a pureblood. He likes being pureblood; I couldn’t care less.  “Four am?”  I stared at his watch; I wanted it. Some people wanted brooms, books, the latest thing …I just wanted Albus’ watch. It was a chunky, mechanical, bloke type watch; it was beautiful.

It would look good on my wrist. I’d have to put another hole into the strap because my wrists are tiny but that didn’t matter.

“Are you going to answer Nott?” Albus asked annoyed, bringing me out of my thoughts.  I looked at him confused. I couldn’t remember what he had said as I was too busy staring at his watch.

“Did you say something?” I asked as I pushed the thought of pinning Albus down and ripping his watch from his wrist.

“I asked why you were up at this time?” He deadpanned.

“I came down to work on my essay for charms.” I snorted at my own joke. I always leave my essays until the night before it’s due in. That’s when my insomnia is a positive thing; I can do all nighters without any problems. Although I wouldn’t recommend my system as I got a D on my last essay, but it’s better from the T before that so I was pretty happy.

Albus snorted. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re a little…” I glared at him forcefully, daring him to say the next word. Of course, he continued.  “…stupid?”

How was I not supposed to take that the wrong way? Albus Potter was calling me stupid and he was more stupid than me. We can’t all get good marks and become a prefect; I have no idea how that had happened. Prefects help people and I’ve never seen Albus help anyone, but he can dock points quicker than I can annoy people and my record is under a minute.  

“I’m not stupid. I just don’t apply myself.” I shrugged. It’s true or at least I like to believe it is.  “I couldn’t sleep, so I came to clean.”  My honesty surprised myself; I should have lied. Always lie; never tell the truth. That’s the way I go through life. Or again, that’s what I like to believe.  “Why do you sleep in the common room?” Albus looked annoyed so I cracked a joke; I have no idea why I do these things. “I mean, I know Scorpius snores really loudly.” I know this because the boy is my cousin; our moms are unfortunately sisters. I have been trying to ignore this fact and for the past sixteen years, I’ve been doing a good job.  “You’d have to sleep with no blanket and that is just weird.”

“I don’t think that’s any of your business.” Albus said going all snotty.  

Well, someone got off the wrong side of the settee.

“I clean the common room every night, if you’re going to use it as a place to sleep; I need to know so we can work out a system.”

 “A system?” Albus frowned and I responded with a scowl.

Albus clearly didn’t understand the importance of systems.  Systems made up my whole world. If I haven’t got a system; the world isn’t right.

“I can’t clean around people.” I confessed tightly. “People are messy and they just get in the way, like you for example.”

“Then I’ll leave you.” He spat as if he was offended. “Sorry for getting in your fricking way!”  He was pissed and I wasn’t sure why. It crossed my mind that this was the reason I lied. People get mad at the truth. People are always happier with the sweet lies you tell them.  

I thought that would be it but Albus had to get the last word in. He had to ruin the system of strangers; don’t tell people your secrets; it’s always a bad thing especially when you don’t even know them all that well.  “I sleep in here because it’s peaceful.” He confessed and it unnerved me. It turned out it was one confession for another; if I saw that small print, I would never have said anything. Though I didn’t understand why he found the common room peace full yet his nightmares still found their way to take control of his dreams.  I didn’t ask though. I wouldn’t ask because I didn’t want to know anything about Albus Potter; I wanted him to stay blank in my mind.  The more I know about him, the more he falls from grace and he becomes just ordinary. It frightened me because if Albus Potter was ordinary, what hope did the rest of us have?

 Albus stared at me and I stared at him. It wasn’t like one of those looks that were full of passion and words that were left unsaid. It was one of pure nothingness. It had no meaning to it yet I found myself having to tear my eyes away.  Albus shrugged before walking away. I watched him to make sure he was actually gone; I didn’t trust him to believe he wouldn’t linger.

I looked around; he had most certainly left.

For that, I would be forever grateful.

I could clean now.

I opened my box of cleaning supplies. I had a bunch of cleaning things but for this, I only needed four of them. Along with my bowl of course, but my bowl doesn’t count.  I took out my furniture polish first with the cloth that I only use for polishing. I placed them next to each other in a line. Next came out the scrubbing brush that I placed next to the polish. Finally, I pulled out my prized buffing cloth; the emerald coloured one.  It was Slytherin colours and if anyone asked I could lie and say that it had sentimental value as Damien bought it for me. In reality, I loved it because it brought out a shine like no other.

“Aguamenti.” I whispered as I pointed my wand at my bowl. I watched it fill up with water and instantly I started feeling a little better.  I placed my wand on the floor and dipped the scrubbing brush in the water. I never cleaned with magic, as it didn’t help soothe my mind as normal cleaning did. 

 I began scrubbing the table.  Instantly, I was better. 

I wondered whether I had fitted Albus into the right pigeonholed boxed. I thought I had figured him out. It turns out I didn’t but that doesn’t matter because by tomorrow I’ll have ignored this night as if it ever happened. I’ll go back to pretending that everything is okay. Normality will be returned and I’ll be fine.  

I knew one thing though; sleep was going to be impossible.

I scrubbed the table a bit more until my hands were raw.


	3. The One With Rose Lollipop Weasley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I tugged at my clothes.

**Chapter Three -**   
_The One With Rose Lollipop Weasley_

  
  
_Beautiful Chapter Image By onlyInevitability@TDA._

“We’re creepy people, Pippa.” - Scorpius Malfoy   


Damien bit into his raw carrot with a loud crunch.  “Will you just speak to her?” I frowned, he pouted.  “I mean, I don’t have any female friends to talk to her.” I snorted. Damien can only just about cope with one best friend, never mind two and a female at that . Damien is weird with his friendships. Either that or me and James are very demanding and take up all his time. This could be the case. “And you’re female.” He stared as me for several moments with a strange look in his eyes.  “Although, some people have tried to dispute that fact.”

“Watch it; I seem to be your only hope.” I warned as I spooned porridge in my mouth.

 “I know. I’m expecting pigs to fly at any moment.”  Damien muttered angrily to himself. He was usually too stubborn to ask for help; ah pride, why must thou be a hard up bitch? 

“Pigs _can_ fly.”  I rolled my eyes. “Do you not remember that time where Aunt Astoria charmed those pigs to chase mother?” I smiled slightly at the memory. 

Damien paused for a moment until that light went on in his very small brain. “Yes! I remember mom almost having a mental breakdown at that one; she hasn’t been able to look at a bacon sandwich since.”  Damien demolished his carrot. “Will you help or not?” He leaned back on his chair to rest himself on the table. Damien was sitting at the Slytherin table in the great hall; I should have known he wanted something when he came over but at first I thought he just wanted to spend some time with his _lovely_ sister. 

Cough. Cough.

I scratched my chin. “What’s in it for me?” It wasn’t going to be an easy task and I do nothing for free. 

“I’ll owe you one.” Damien waved his hand as if it was nothing.  I could make him do anything now.  He was a stupid boy sometimes.  Actually, he was a stupid boy all the time. 

I smirked. “It’s a deal!” 

Damien and I shook on it. He tried to yank my arm off and I tried crushing his fingers. That’s just how us Nott’s do a handshake. 

 Now the only thing I had to do was actually follow through with his request. Damien had asked me to talk to the she devil that is Rose Weasley.  It was going to be awful. I could see it now, I’d play nice and she would try to curse me.  It’s pretty fair to say she doesn’t like me and the feeling is mutual.  It all started when I told Moaning Myrtle that Rose was gossiping about her.It was only supposed to be a joke but Myrtle took it all too seriously; Rose now has to go all out to avoid her otherwise Myrtle starts flooding all the bathrooms. I would never have done it if Rose wasn’t so boring and made me feel stupid in front everyone. 

Little know it all. 

“See you later, Pip.” Damien said before leaving me to go back to his table as I glared at him. I hated it when he called me Pip, which is why he calls me Pip.  

That’s right Damien, get what you want and go. No time for that sibling bonding thing. Which now that I think about, it is good that he left . The very idea of sibling bonding makes me feel sick.  I mean me and Damien working together? We’d probably kill each other or I’d kill him.  Either way, some murder would be going down.

Ah, that’s sibling love for you.

I returned to eating my porridge, which was now cold. I looked around the room trying to find the joy that is Rose Weasley. I couldn’t spot her, either she wasn’t here yet, which was practically impossible or had already been, which was highly probable. 

“Hello cousin!” Scorpius said dreamily as he slid into a seat next to me.  I looked around to see if he was talking to anyone else, nope, I wasn’t that lucky. 

“Scorpius!” I hissed. “Not so loud!” 

“Was I speaking loud? Funny…I didn’t realize.” Scorpius sighed. Sometimes, I still can’t believe I was related to this idiot. I tend not to broadcast it, even though I’m sure people realize. “I woke up this morning to find I had one of my socks missing…did you take it? The one with the happy snowman on them?”

“Why would I take your sock?” I lied. I had taken it as I knew the happy snowman were his favourite pair of socks in the world and I was bored. I would hold on to it until I needed something from him. 

 “Because you’ve been avoiding me since the cupboard fiasco of last week?”

“Scorpius, I’m always avoiding you.”  

“Really?” Scorpius frowned.  He looked like he was going to cry for a moment before he shook his head. “Oh I get it now! That was sarcasm wasn’t it?”

“Nope.”

“You’re doing that whole sarcasm thing again! Oh, Pippa, you are funny.” He was laughing hysterically by then. I didn’t get the joke.  He then began choking on his toast and I had to hit him hard on the back. Stupid cousin trying to choke himself to death; It’s such an inconvenience. Once Scorpius life was no longer in danger, he decided to speak.  “What are you doing on this fine Saturday morning?”

If he suggests us to do something together, I will push him off his chair. “I have to go and stalk out Rose to find out why she isn’t talking to Damien.”  I grimaced; I shouldn’t have told him that.  

“Really?” I waited for it. “Can I come?” There it was. 

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Pretty please?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re annoying.”

“So are you!” Scorpius retorted. “I’m coming. I don’t care what you say Pippa, let’s go on anadventure.”  He stood up to make his point; I yawned. “Come on!” He poked me in the arm. “Adventure time!”

I didn’t like the sound of that but I followed him anyway. I might as well as get this over and done with. You never know, Scorpius might be some help. I doubted it but it could be possible. 

“If I was Rose Weasley? Where would I be?” Scorpius mused to himself as he paused for a moment before answering his own question. “Up her own ass probably.” He joked. I almost laughed. 

Almost.

“Shall we try outside?” I suggested. 

Scorpius nodded. “Good idea.” He gave me the thumbs up. The boy is so lame. 

Scorpius and I walked around outside on the castle grounds for a while before we found her. She was reading; well I suppose she was a Ravenclaw for a reason. Plus, I don’t think she has any friends. I have never seen her with another human being that wasn’t her family.

 I was going to go straight up and talk to her. But this was Rose Weasley. She was evil. Rose was a lot taller than me, but so were a lot of people. She had toffee brown eyes, but so did a lot of people. One of the most original things Rose has ever done is dye her hair blonde. Red was the norm in her family, shades varying depending on the gene pool. Hers was originally a carrot colour and I think she always hated it, I mean why else would you change it? One term she just returned with blonde hair and a killer bitchy attitude. It was a lightish somewhat dirty blonde, unlike mine which was an golden blonde and Scorpius’ whose hair was so bright, if you stared at it for too long, it hurts your eyes.  

 Rose wrinkled up her nose. I think she felt our presence. Panic rose inside me thinking that she might see me. 

So for some reason, I dived into bush. Scorpius the sheep dived straight in after me. 

“Why did you dive into a bush?” Scorpius whispered with a confused look upon his face. 

“I’m trying to fine tune my plan of action.” I lied as I tried not to imagine the germs crawling on my skin. I was going to be okay once I showered. I just had to breathe and focus on the task at hand and not the germs. 

“What’s your plan of action?” He asked interested and buying the lie. 

“Just go over and talk?” I shrugged. 

Scorpius rolled his eyes. “That’s not a proper plan Pippa.” Scorpius picked a thorn from his hair. He glared at the tiny thorn before flicking it at me.  “Out of all the bushes we dive into, we dive into a thorn bush. What are the odds?” Scorpius mused before chuckling to himself.

I rolled my eyes. “It’s us.” Scorpius smiled. “It would have been weirder if this plan had gone smoothly.” I picked a thorn from my hair and my butt. 

“True.” He agreed. Scorpius and I had been involved in many plans together and I couldn’t remember a single one that turned out perfectly. Even if it was something as simple as stealing cookies from the kitchen. The plan went something like this, Damien would always be on the lookout for pesky parents; I would be in charge of climbing up on the counter then grabbing the cookies from the cupboard and Scorpius job was to catch the cookie jar after I had grabbed it so I could climb down.

 I always got the crappiest jobs because I could fit into small places and I was a good climber. Also Scorpius was afraid of heights and Damien was still traumatized from when he got his hand stuck in the railings outside our house; he thought he was going to lose his hand and I was too busy laughing at him to help him out. 

The ending of this plan went a bit like this, Damien yelled that our parents we’re coming, I panicked and fell off the counter with the cookies onto a frail Scorpius.  The cookie jar bashed him in the eye and he elbowed me in mine. That was the week we both had black eyes and pretended to be pandas. 

Scorpius hummed happily to himself. “So why are we stalking Rose?” I opened by mouth to argue but Scorpius carried on. “I mean, I thought the whole original point of this was to just talk to Rose but we seem to be in a bush just watching her.” Scorpius shuddered. “We’re creepy people, Pippa.”

“We’re not stalking Rose.” I told him, shrugging off the rest of his comments. I was not creepy. Sure, I _was_ watching Rose but for a reason; I was waiting to make my move.

Okay, that sentence just made me out to be the lord of the creepers. 

“Okay, why are we doing intense individual research on Rose?” Scorpius looked proud of himself. He reminded of when Lucie caught his first mouse. Lucie or Lucifer Bobbins Nott is my ugly, fat tabby cat. He’s evil. He loves me, he hates Damien. That’s just the way the world rolls on its axis. I also have Binksy, my other cat but he stays at home because Mom over feeds him and he misses that too much. Plus he doesn’t like people and with the amount of people in Hogwarts, he almost had a cat breakdown.  “I mean, couldn’t we have picked a more interesting person? Rose is about as fun as wet fish.”

“It’s Damien fault; not mine.”

“Why does Damien care so much?” Scorpius asked, interested and I decided to divulge him with an answer. 

“It’s Damien.” I stated simply thinking that would end it but Scorpius still seemed confused so I continued. “Damien can’t stand anyone being mad at him.” I told Scorpius in a ‘duh’ tone. He’s only known Damien for 16 years; he should know this simple crap about him by now. I did. 

“Why are you helping him?” Scorpius asked, again. He was irritating me now.

Breathe in, breathe out, Pippa. 

“I had nothing better to do plus, I can use this to my advantage when I want something later.”

“That’s very clever of you…I’m quite surprised that you managed to think of that.” Scorpius grinned as I scowled. 

“I am clever Scorpius.” I told him and he snorted. Scorpius face crunches up when he snorts; it isn’t the most appealing look he’s got going on. “Alright, so I agreed to talk to one of my enemies for my brother and I may get killed in the process and-” 

“It’s okay to have enemies you know.” Scorpius said in a mystical voice or at least I think that is what he was trying to attempt. It was actually more like his normal voice with a bit of a growl.  I raised my eyebrows at him as I waited for whatever advice was about to come out of his mouth. That’s the trouble with Scorpius; you never know what he is going to say. “Just having enemies means you stood up for something…or that you’re just a big fat bitch who no one likes.” Scorpius pondered his ‘wisdom’. “Though, I think you’re the latter.” 

I grabbed his hair and pulled.

He yelped.

I let go.

“Think about your next words carefully”

“Gosh, Pippa, you are an angry midget.” He cursed.  “I didn’t mean the fat part cause you’re not fat.” It’s good to know that you think that cousin. “You’re not big either, in fact you’re tiny.” His eyes widened. “You haven’t grown since we’re ten!” Actually, I haven’t grown since I was fourteen. “Have you got a problem?” He whispered, as if he might offend me. He did but for entirely different reasons. 

“I haven’t got a problem with growing Scorpius.” I hissed. “I am just short.”

“Oh...it sucks to be you.” 

“It’ll suck to be you too in a minute.” I threatened. 

Scorpius ruffled my hair like he used to do when I got upset at something when I was little. “And well, the no one likes you part…that is sort of true.” He shrugged, “Sorry, Pippa but you’ve managed to offend a lot of people.” I couldn’t argue with that. I seemed to have a knack for annoying people. Oh and upsetting them but that’s a whole different thing. “I like you though, if that means anything to you?”

“That means nothing to me.” I told him and in response, Scorpius flicked me in the forehead. How can I be related to this loser when I’m so cool? “But it’s okay, Scorpius, I know that I haven’t got a fan club or anything.”

“You’re close to getting one though I think the ‘I hate Pippa Nott club’ will be created soon.” 

“That would be awesome.” I grinned manically with wide eyes. 

Scorpius shook his head. “I wonder for your sanity sometimes…”

“So do I, but since I question having my sanity it means I still have it.” I told him and Scorpius gave me an odd look so I explained. “If I was insane, I wouldn’t realize it.” 

“Oi! Tweedle dee and Tweedle dum!” Rose yelled at us. I looked at Scorpius and he looked just as confused as I was. Who the hell are Tweedle dee and Tweedle dum? I don’t know whether to be offended or not. I mean, are Tweedle dee and Tweedle dum two hot blondes? Cause if so, she’s complimenting us! She looks really angry though, so maybe not. Hmm, I’ll have to ask Cassie about who they are later. “Why are you stalking me?” 

Scorpius coughed. “We weren’t stalking you Weasley.” She didn’t believe him. “We were watching you.” Rose looked like she believed that. “There is a difference.” 

“I don’t think there would be in the eyes of the law Malfoy.”  Her eyes glinted in the light with a spark of evilness.  

So Rose was threating us with the law. I’d like to say that was new to me, but it wasn’t. I’m the grandchild of a Death Eater and Scorpius father was a Death Eater, who is also my uncle. We’d be so screwed; no one would believe us over Miss Moody over there.  It turns out she might just have a personality but I was wary. Once a wet fish, always a wet fish in my opinion. 

“Psh.” Scorpius wasn’t taking her seriously and neither was I. “You may be a Ravenclaw, but I’m a Slytherin.” 

“Evil is our middle name, do you want to mess with evil, Rose?” I didn’t like calling her Rose because I didn’t like her name or her. It just seemed like a first name argument but believe me, my mouth is burning from saying a name that is so sweet sounding. I wouldn’t be surprised if her middle name was lollipop or something. 

“No it isn’t.” Rose snorted as she ran her fingers through her hair. “Nott, yours is Astoria.” Oh, wasn’t Rose Lollipop Weasley clever?  “And Malfoy? Yours is Hyperion.”

 I couldn’t help but laugh. Scorpius seriously got the bad end of the middle name stick. I was named after my awesome aunt or as Scorpius calls her ‘mum’.

 “Who is stalking who now?” Scorpius asked.  “Because I sure as hell don’t know your middle name.”  I’ll tell him about Lollipop later. “Creeper!” He pointed at her. It’s a good job she wasn’t exactly near us because he would have jabbed out her eye. “Creeper!” He repeated to get his point across. 

“Alright Scorpius, chill your chilli.” He was getting slightly embarrassing now but this was Scorpius I was talking about; he is the epitome of embarrassing. “I’ll sum this up for you, I’m a creeper, Scorpius is a creeper and you’re a creeper.  We’re all creepers.”  Scorpius and Rose both looked offended.  “Anyway, the reason we’re wasting our Saturday here is because of Damien.”

“Damien?” Her interest perked. If my brother has any romantic connection to this girl, I will feed myself to the giant squid then if I don’t die, I’ll throw myself off the astronomy tower. Though I reckon the first would probably be enough to kill me; I can’t swim. I asked my dad to take me to the local Muggle pool  so I could learn, but because I wasn’t showing much magical ability, in fact I showed none my dad thought I’d catch Muggle. Even though that was impossible. He was so  happy when it turned out I wasn’t a squib. So was I to be honest. 

“Yes, Damien. My brother from the same mother. He’s tall and he once had a huge marble collection which used to bug me so much because he would always lose his marbles and not in the good way either.”

“What did he want?” Rose cut me off clearly annoyed.

“He thinks you’re upset with him, is there any truth in it?” I felt like a grown up. I was talking things through like a mature human being. 

“Why would I tell you?” She was being pompous. It wasn’t actually like I wanted to know; I didn’t want to know anything about who is upsetting who. I didn’t actually care. 

“Because Damien asked me to ask you.”  I barked at her. “I don’t actually give a crap. So has he irritated you or not?”

“No, he hasn’t irritated me.” She was miffed though; clearly at me, since she wasn’t mad at Damien. “You have though.”

“Don’t be rude.” Scorpius butted in rudely. His innocence and youth that clung to him had evaporated in a giant black smoke of rage. “Pippa is just trying to help out Damien; you don’t need to be a big bitch about it Weasley.” He spat. The sunny boy had turned into a savage who wasn’t taking any prisoners. “You could have just answered yes or no. It’s not hard.” He was on fire now; a switch had flicked inside his brain, from normal to psycho. It was both fascinating and scary at the same time. Though I wasn’t scared of Scorpius; I could never be. “But no. Everyone thinks you’re nice, but I think you’re a bitch.”  

 Rose didn’t respond, she couldn’t respond, I think she was too much in shock. I also would have chucked in something witty but found it impossible for words to leave my mouth; this was a new sensation and one I wouldn’t like to repeat ever again. Being speechless kind of sucks.

I had never seen Scorpius angry like this; in fact I had never seen Scorpius angry.  Scorpius was a glass half full person, optimism and life radiated from those grey eyes. Scorpius managed to own rooms without trying, he was like moth to a flame; you just radiated to him. We were the opposites of the magnet, he attracted and I repelled. I was a dull grey and Scorpius was all the colours of the rainbow. Right now, he was a shade of violent red and for a moment, I was blinded by the boy, no the man, I grew up with. 

“So get the hell of your high horse Weasley and get over yourself.”  Scorpius finished, uncurling his pale fist. 

Rose was flushed red with rage. I thought a full blown rant was coming Scorpius way but all she managed was three words.  “Piss off Malfoy.” Scorpius had seemed to of got her where it had hurts; I was proud of him. It took skill to find someone’s weaknesses quickly and figure out which was the biggest one. Rose stood there, her blonde hair whipping wildly in the wind. Her eyes flamed with resentment and something else…anguish? I don’t know and I didn’t care enough to find out. 

Scorpius’ smirk faltered into a smile.  “That’s fine; I’ll do it with pleasure.” Scorpius linked my arm. I tried to unlink my arm but Scorpius was surprisingly strong so I gave up. Scorpius stared at her one last time with malice. “Leave my family alone; Damien included.” He then dragged me off, leaving Rose Lollipop Weasley feasting in her own anger. She was most certainly eating a full course meal. 

What the hell had just happened? I wondered whether I was inside some parallel world. These things just didn’t happen. This wasn’t my life. This couldn’t be my life.

This was carelessness. 

This was cluttered.

It wasn’t organised. 

It was hell.

“What the hell was that?” I asked once we were out of sight as I stared at my cousin; if that’s who he actually is. It struck me that he was breaking out of his bright, shiny box that I stuck him in many years ago. It seemed that people we’re being confusing lately. They were acting out from the norm; it filled me with dread, uncertainty and anger. People needed to stop messing with the flow; they needed to stop making things messy. 

But then, just like that, my Scorpius returned with a smile on his angelic face. “It just annoyed me she was be **i** ng like that to you.” He shrugged like it was nothing. “That’s all.” He was back to being in high spirits; he was humming happily to himself.

I eyed Scorpius suspiciously. “Why though?” I wondered whether he wanted something from me; people were only nice to me when they wanted something. It had made me harbour a lot of distrust for random niceness. 

Plus, I learned how to take care of myself from an early age so I always gave the impression that I didn’t need anyone to stick up for me, I could fight my own battles…I still felt like that. I was never going to become one of those pathetic people who needed others to live.

“You’re family.” He told me, which was accompanied by his trademark crooked grin.  It was two words but it seemed to shake something inside me. I had spent hours inside my head denying that I was related to him many times but he seemed accepted it so easily. We were cousins; that was fact. 

I didn’t understand how; I knew I wasn’t the easiest person to be related to most of the times. Well, all of the time really. I was often foul, snarky, cynical and sarcastic who had a habit of pissing people off. That was me; I was okay with that, it just seemed that no one else was. 

 I knew it wouldn’t last but for that single moment, I was proud that Scorpius was my family. 

Not that I’d ever admit that to him or anything. 

Never.

That thought would die with me and never leave my lips.  I would never animate those words with speech.  

I did punch him on the arm though. 

Scorpius rubbed his arm. “Ow. That hurt.” He joked. “You need to work on your punch.” 

“I don’t fight with my fists.”

“You fight with your mind?” Scorpius suggested.

“I’m not telepathic.”

“That is a pity, it would have been helpful.” Scorpius grumbled. “I hope it is lunch time. You want to come check it out?” He wanted to spend more time with me. This wasn’t right. This wasn’t my world. 

I tugged at the arm that was linked with Scorpius.

Let me go.

“No, I’m not hungry.” I lied because suddenly I felt jumpily. My agitation was obvious but Scorpius chose to ignore it. Perhaps he was used to it or perhaps he was just blind. But it didn’t matter because my mind was focused on the escape. 

I needed to run. I felt like I couldn’t breathe properly but my lungs were working perfectly. My head was fuzzie and the world suddenly seemed smaller. It was coming closer; it was suffocating me. 

I tugged at my clothes. 

“I’m just going to go back to my dorm and get started on my homework.” I told him. I wasn’t sure how I was getting these words out. Scorpius raised his eyebrow but dropped his arm from mine anyway. 

“That’s alright.” Scorpius seemed to accept my reasoning easily. “I’ll see you later, Pippa.” 

“Bye.” 

I watched him stroll away, perfectly alright with his own company. I just wanted to crawl out of my skin. I wanted to shed. I needed to start anew. I waited until he was out of sight before running.

I ran as if my life depended on it. I noticed no one else; they were invisible to me. No one but me existed. I loved running; I felt like a butterfly taking its first flight every time I ran. 

I ran until I reached my dormitory. It was my fake home that I was stuck in for a lot of the year. It was often absent of my presence. My bed was placed in the corner; it was out of the way. It was mine.

Mine. Mine. Mine.

There was something wrong with my corner. Something was a miss. 

A school book on my bedside table was crooked.

I didn’t leave it like that.

I placed it on my book pile, making it align with the others. 

Everything was okay again. 

I could breathe. 

For the moment.


	4. The One Where Cassie Almost Eats Gryffindor Toast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I felt offended.

**Chapter Four –**   
_The One Where Cassie Almost Eats Gryffindor Toast_

  
  
_Amazing chapter image by GryffindorGirl153_

 

“What’s the worst that can happen? I get a big head and a desire to save people?” - Cassie Holmes

“Cassie, get the hell out of bed now before I start going hell bitch on your ass.” I shouted at her but she wouldn’t budge. I had never met a lazier girl in my life. She would sleep for days if I let her. “Cassie.” I warned but she didn’t open her eyes. I tried tugging the blanket off her but Cassie has man strength. I ended up falling backwards and onto the floor.

Alright, that hurt. Now I was going to kill her cause falling on the floor ruins my reputation as a badass. 

I picked up a jug of water that always sat on a side table but no one ever used.  I then proceeded to dump the whole jug of water on her. She growled at me as she jumped out of bed quickly. I smirked; she now had a soggy bed. “I hate you.” She muttered like she fully meant it. “I’m drenched. I can already tell this is going to be the best day ever.” She rolled her eyes before she grabbed her clothes then she walked like a zombie towards the bathroom while muttering that she was going to find a new best friend as soon as possible. “I will get you back for this!” She yelled before slamming the door.

It was obvious that someone wasn’t a morning person.  She is like a monster until she’s had breakfast and coffee. 

 I heard the shower switch on as I began to make her bed. It took a few minutes until I was satisfied that the blanket was straight, the corners matched up and there were no crinkles ruining my wonderful work. Cassie would never appreciate this, she wouldn’t even notice it but her bed wouldn’t get made otherwise and I couldn’t even think about that happening. It freaked me out too much.

 Cassie emerged a while later looking human with her trademark ruby red lips. Cassie won’t let me near her lipstick ever since I used her favourite shade to write ‘Damien Nott sleeps with a teddy bear’ on the wall of the great hall for fun.  Both Cassie and Damien didn’t speak to me for a week. I was quite the loner that week, I almost took up reading. 

“You’ve put your hair in an alarming high ponytail.” I looked at her as I picked up my neatly organized bag. “It looks awful.”

“Yours is in a plait.” She noted stony faced as she folded her arms across her chest grumpily. “It’s a Monday… I’m trying to find the will to live.” 

I paused for a few dramatic moments. “Did you find your will to live?” 

Cassie rolled her eyes as she ignored my last comment. “Let’s go to breakfast. We’ve got classes to get to so that we can become the best witches the world has ever seen.” She grabbed my arm and began dragging me towards the great hall. She was a girl on a mission and that mission was to get food. I’d joke about this with her but she’s got her crazy going on. You don’t want to mess with Crazy Cassie; she may kill you with butterflies and rainbows. That would be the worst kind of death. 

I snorted. “I don’t think that’s going to happen, for starters, you’re lazy and I’m stupid.”

“Your self confidence amazes me sometimes.” Cassie smirked. “And is that your opinion of me? I’m going to get that on my grave.” She sighed happily as if she was imagining it. “Here lies Cassandra Norma Holmes -”

“-She was lazy and loved pigs.  She will be sadly missed.” I finished for her.

“Unless, I come back as a ghost and I haunt the living dead out of you.” Cassie laughed. “And I don’t like pigs, I prefer dragons.” 

I had to drag Cassie back to reality before the dragon daydream took over. “What the hell is the living dead and how can I get rid of it? So just in case you die, I’ll be alright.”

“I don’t know.” Cassie shrugged. “My Mom used to say it after Cactus the cat bit the dust.” She paused before putting on her old woman crackly voice which is meant to sound like her mom. It doesn’t. I’ve met her mom. She’s sounds normal. “Cactus is going to come back and haunt the living dead out of us. Just watch! He will.”

“Did he?”  I asked slightly interested.

“No, he didn’t.” Cassie flicked me in the forehead as I frowned. “Pippa, my mom and dad are both muggles. If Cactus did come back and haunt us, they’d be petrified.”

I suppose that was true. If I was a muggle and I saw a ghost; I’d never leave my house ever again. I’d become agoraphobic, die of hunger and then Binksy and Lucie will eat my face so I will be an ugly corpse.  

As soon as I entered the great hall, Damien was waving me over. I had spent the whole of yesterday avoiding him and wondering whether Saturday actually happened. I mean, does this mean I’m now somewhat friends with Scorpius? Does he think I’m a weak willed girl who can’t fight her own battles? I sighed. Scorpius was the least of my worries at the moment. I felt like if life had a face, I would punch it until it made sense. I sighed as I walked over to my brother. 

I had told Cassie that Rose Weasley was a crazy witch who needed a chill pill. She figured something was up when she found me cleaning everything she owned.  She then tried to cheer me up by pretending to be a turtle. She put a pillow on her back and crawled around the room slowly. Cassie makes a good turtle. 

It also made my day better.  I didn’t tell her that though. I never tell her. 

“Hello Damien.”  I looked at him, someone clearly hadn’t brushed his hair this morning. Cassie started helping herself to Gryffindor toast which I immediately whacked out of her hands. “Gryffindor toast is bad.” I scolded her as she wrinkled up her nose in fury. The Gryffindor toast just lay on the floor. I had an urge to pick it up and place it on the table but I resisted the urge. 

“What’s the worst that can happen? I get a big head and a desire to save people?” She looked at the toast with disgust.  “Actually, I’m not very hungry.”  I had put her off Gryffindor toast. My nice deed was done for the day.  Maybe even for the year. Maybe for my whole entire life. The Gryffindor’s at the table were glaring at me and Cassie but I ignored them and Cassie seemed to be in a world of her own so she hadn’t even noticed.

“I’ll ignore that Pippa.”  Damien said before he took a sip of his orange juice as I accidentally wished he would choke on it. 

“Ignore what?” I said innocently as I crossed my arms across my chest. “Hello James.” James looked at me with a small smile on his lips before shaking his head softly. 

“Hi Pippa.” James said cheerily. “How are you?”

“I survived the aftermath of annoying Rose Weasley.” I may have answered James but I directed it to Damien. “Thanks for that Damien, thanks.”

He leaned casually in his chair. “No problem.” He grinned. “Now tell me what happened.”

I ignored the fact that it seemed to be more of an order than a request. “Well, me and Scorpius spent ages trying to find Rose and-“

Damien cut me off. “-Are you telling me you willingly spent time with Scorpius?” He eyed me with uneasiness. 

I shrugged. “What’s the problem? You hang out with him sometimes.” 

“You hate people.” Damien answered snottily. “And idiots.” That was true. “Scorpius is both.”

“You’re both of those things and yet I still manage to put up with you somehow.” I told him, feeling slightly defensive.  “So will you shut up and just let me finish?” Damien just nodded. “Right, we found Rose who took an extra dose of bitch that morning.” Damien frowned but James laughed, I grinned at him. I wish James Potter was my brother, but I also found James Potter a little bit attractive so I guess it’s sort of good that he’s not my brother cause that would be weird. Still though, James has a much better sense of humour that Damien. James gets my humour, Damien doesn’t. “To sum up our epic journey, you haven’t irritated her.” I eyed my brother carefully. “She was happier when I told her I was there for you and not for me.” 

Damien shrugged. “People are always happier to see me than you.”

I drew in my breath. Okay. I must not punch my brother to death. I cursed him in my head as I smiled sweetly. “Only the girls, my dear brother, the boys are always happy to see me more.” James started to choke on his milk and Damien looked like he was about to murder me.  “Just ask around.” I winked. This was too fun. He was actually taking me serious. He hardly ever does that, infact, I think this may be the first time. 

Cassie snorted before deciding to join the conversation. “Pippa, you are not a seductive goddess, you are just a general loser.” I frowned at her. Cassie would ruin this. “I suppose you have a nice face though.” 

“Thanks.” I muttered. “You’re a great friend.” I told her sarcastically. 

Cassie tossed her hair over her shoulders in that dramatic way. “Thank you. I think so too.” She winked at me.

“You do know that by hanging around with me it makes you a loser too.” 

Cassie pondered this before finally saying. “I’ve changed my mind, you’re a seductive goddess.” 

“And the world is thankful for that.” Fred Weasley piped up. I looked at him as my brother gave him a dirty look and he just laughed. Fred Weasley was a fifth year Gryffindor whose talents were getting into trouble and then getting himself out of trouble. Fred had charisma that I had never seen before, you wanted Fred to be your buddy, you wanted Fred’s heart to belong to you, but with people like Fred, they belonged to everyone. No claims, he was a bird who couldn’t be caged. To cage him would be criminal. He sprinkled little drops of gold dust everywhere he went; bringing smiles and laughter. Not a lot of people could do that and no one did it better than him. 

“Shut up Fred.” My brother frowned at Fred but we all knew that there was a smile that was trying to escape.  

Then James’, Fred’s and Damien’s expressions all darkened. I looked to see what they were focusing on; Nathan Morgan had just walked into the great hall. I closed my eyes for a few moments. 

Nathan was one of the most aesthetically pleasing people I had ever seen but there was something dangerous lurking behind those eyes. If you looked closely, you could see it. It was there in every step he took and it was hidden in his lazy smile. It was just waiting to crawl out and make an appearance. 

I shuddered involuntarily as I opened my eyes. 

I had inherited a slight hatred from my brother towards Nathan that sometimes went a bit wonky. Damien hated Nathan and I had never understood why. Damien had never told me. In fact most of the guys I knew hated Nathan. I shrugged; maybe it had something to do with jealously? Nathan not only could have the pick of the whimsical females, he was also the Ravenclaw Quidditch Captain, a strangely coveted job.  Something in which made both Damien and Albus his rivals. Nathan stopped in front of the Gryffindor table which never happened.

“Hello Cassandra.” Nathan smiled at her.  “How are you?”

Cassie shrugged nonchalantly. “Hello Morgan.”  Cassie doesn’t even like Nathan yet they exchange pleasantries every day. It was something I couldn’t really figure out. Cassie doesn’t talk about it much.

He turned his attention away from Cassie for the moment. I thought he was going to pick an argument with Damien or James, who I was standing in front of. Instead he focused on me. 

“Hello Philippia.” He spoke in that cool tone of his. He called me Philippia.  It shouldn’t feel strange because that’s my name but it did. Maybe it was because no one actually called me Philippia anymore or maybe it was the fact that it had been spoken to by Nathan Morgan. Either way, I felt odd and I didn’t know why. 

It wasn’t like I hated my name. I don’t. I’m not going to threaten to slaughter you if you call me the name my parents put on my birth certificate. I like my name. People just didn’t seem to call me it. Ever. Even my parents only used Philippia when I had made them angry, otherwise I was Pippa. 

Nathan was still staring at me with those fatal eyes. I avoided them as much as possible. I didn’t like eye contact, especially with strangers I couldn’t make my mind up on. Nathan was something I couldn’t shove into a box that easily and that unnerved me. He was crawling out of ‘My brother’s enemy, you must hate him’ box with ease and probably didn’t even realize or maybe he did and was actually an evil genius? That could be the case.

 “Hi.” I squeaked as that’s all I could manage. He must think I have problems. I do but I didn’t want him to know that. I want him to think I was amazing, cool and normal but he must think I have speech problems.  Life is great sometimes. I wasn’t going to seduce anyone with awkwardness. I guess I wasn’t a seductive goddess. I’ll guess I’ll just have to be human. 

“I’ll see you around, Cassandra.” Cassie shrugged like it was nothing. Sometimes, my best friend was the epitome of cool. It usually appeared when boys were involved. She transformed, I did too but in opposite ways. She became flirty with bags of confidence. I became tongue tied and I found it hard to exist in those situations. “And, you too Philippia.” I managed to nod like it was nothing, which surprised me because my stomach was churning.  Nathan gave one last wave before walking towards the Ravenclaw table. Ah, what a creepy dream boat! To keep up appearances, I put my hate face on.

“You know him Pippa?” Fred said, like he was disappointed in me or something. I couldn’t think of anything to say so I just glared darkly. I didn’t want to be a disappointment but in my eyes, I had done nothing wrong. Was I supposed to ignore him? Probably. 

“What the hell was that?” James asked, thoroughly confused just like I was. 

“I hate him.” Damien hissed and crossed his arms angrily like a small child. “Who does he think he is?”

“Nathan Morgan?” Cassie interjected helpfully. Cassie wasn’t even fazed when Damien threw the dirtiest look he could muster; she just stuck out her tongue at him.  “What’s the big deal?”  She asked, a little naively. Either she has gone stupid or she is trying to push Damien's buttons.

“We hate that guy.” Damien, Fred and James all said at once. I feared that they may have spent time practising that. If so, they are geeks to the highest degree.  

“And what is he doing talking to you?” Damien wondered a little bit too harshly. It seemed like he was implying that I wasn’t worth Nathans time, which is quite the insult, because if I wasn’t worth the time of someone he thought was lower than low, who’s time was I worth?

“And what is wrong with me?” I asked offended. I mean don’t worry about me, it’s not like I have feelings or anything. Damien opened his mouth before closing it again. “Choose your next words carefully, Damey.”  I smiled as sweetly as I could manage. Damey was something I had called him ever since I could speak because Damien was too much of a mouthful. 

I was waiting for Damien to insult me, to become the disappointment of the day but he surprised me. I had forgotten what it was like to be surprised. 

 “…Nothing?” Damien looked puzzled at my anger as he probably chose the best answer. He always does this and I always forgive him. Not this time. 

I glared at him. “You are no longer worth my time.” Damien stared at me, before shaking his head and turning his back on me. He had a nerve in giving me the cold shoulder.  I flicked him in the back of the head before turning to Cassie as I began my plan to ignore my brother for the rest of eternity because he was an idiot and he deserved it. “I don’t feel like breakfast anymore.” I told Cassie whose smile then turned upside down. I no longer wanted to eat; I just wanted to get the hell out here.   “I’m just going to go.” I hoped she would let me just leave quietly. I hated it when she caused a fuss.  She hated it when I caused a fuss. Together we caused fusses that no one needed.

Cassie frowned. “You want me to come with you?” She offered, nicely even though I knew we were moments away from a non-food induced grump. 

“No, I’m fine.” I lied. “I just need to get away from Damien.” This was true. “You stay here and get some breakfast; otherwise you’ll be a monster and I won’t be able to deal with you.” She grinned at me. “And we don’t want that.” I said as I thought about the last time Cassie woke up late and skipped breakfast. She ended up being whiny and had the vilest temper ever. I ended up taking her wand after she hexed my brother (he looked at her funny apparently), several frightened second years, Fred (for smiling), Scorpius (for being himself), an angry professor and me (for calling her a moose). Then I stamped on her foot and I made her swear to get breakfast everyday.  I wanted to make it an unbreakable vow but Cassie is a wimp. Our conversation went something like this; 

 ‘What if I sleep over one day and miss my alarm? Then we’re both dead.’ She asked, with wide eyes. 

‘We’d cross that bridge when we come to it.’ I told her smartly.

“You are an idiot.’ She stated simply. ‘We wouldn’t be able to cross any bridge; we’d be dead, therefore immobile.’

‘I suppose you’re right.’ I huffed. ‘Next time though?’

She thought about it deeply for a moment. ‘I suppose’. 

That was fifth year. We have yet to make an unbreakable vow because for the moment, plain words work just as well. Plus Damien banned me from making an unbreakable vow, but it wasn’t like I actually listened to his advice at all because normally his advice is idiotic and will only lead to everything getting ten times worse. 

“Okay, Pippa.” Cassie smiled. “See you in Potions.” She got up to head to the Slytherin table and I got up to leave.

I strolled out the door, cursing my brother underneath my breath to an oblivion. I would have to figure out some way to annoy him. Damien hadn’t even bothered to say thank you for talking to Rose Lollipop Weasley. I think that’s what annoyed me the most. Damien just always takes while never giving anything back. It was a flaw of his I had still yet to accept. 

I crashed into some hefty person who sent me spiralling to the floor. I hissed as I felt the floor scrap my elbow. I glanced at it quickly, it was bleeding. My face curled up in anger as I looked up to the person who had knocked me down. 

Albus Potter.

That’s just typical. 

“Sor-” He started but then noticed who he had knocked over and just stopped talking. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow.  

“What the hell Potter?” I yelled at him, as I scraped myself off the floor as gracefully as I could manage. “You are a clumsy oaf!”

Albus frowned. “You’re the one who walked into me you twat.”

“I don’t think that is what happened.” Although I couldn’t be quite sure because I wasn’t really paying attention. “And you’re so fat…” That was a blatant lie and I think Albus knew that because he just sniggered.  “I mean, look at my elbow” I shoved my bloody elbow in his face. He didn’t even look disgusted, this boy was pure steel. 

“You’ve cut it.” Albus replied blankly. “That’s…nice?”

“Nice?!” I yelled angrily. “If it scar’s, I’m suing!”

“Do you even know what suing is?” Albus asked sardonically. 

I thought about it. “No, I don’t but Cassie talked about it once and I gathered it was a bad thing. So ha!”

“Oh, Nott, you are an idiot.” He ran his fingers through his hair as he stepped closer to me. He was almost close enough to touch. I took a small step back automatically but I could still smell him, that musk with a hint of cologne.  “It’s actually laughable.” I glared at him as he learned forward to tuck a piece of my hair behind my ear that always fell in front of my face. “You act like this little Slytherin who belongs here, but you truly don’t, in fact, I think you’re a Hufflepuff.” 

I felt offended. “Your sister is in Huffepuff.” 

Albus shrugged. “How did you end up in Slytherin anyway? You’re too stupid to be cunning and you’re failing a lot of classes, so ambition must be low on the list too.” He was teasing me. He was trying to annoy me and it was working. 

“I’ll show you why I’m in Slytherin, Potter.” I told him, trying hard to contain my explosive anger. “You’re going to have to watch your back.” He thought he knew me? He needed think again. 

Albus rolled his eyes. “Bring it.” He then turned around and strolled into the great hall, leaving me in the hallway. 

I will get him back. I will destroy him. I believed that we all had light and dark inside us, but the dark was winning at the moment and it had been for a while.

Then a plan started forming in my head and it was genius.  I was going to join to the quidditch team. Albus loved quidditch, it was his thing. He had been Captain since his fifth year. I wasn’t planning on joining the quidditch team to make myself wonderful and popular. No, I was going to destroy it from the inside. I needed to get on the team of course, which meant I had to learn how to play quidditch. I had only played once in an unofficial game, it involved me, Scorpius and Damien. Scorpius was violently sick, I fell off my broom trying to dodge the falling sick and Damien came close to beating us to death with his broom. It wasn’t a great attempt at the ‘beautiful’ game but I didn’t think quidditch was that hard, I either had to chase something or catch something, all while trying to avoid an early death by bludgers. 

It was decided, I was going to become the new Slytherin Seeker. 

I had chosen seeker because catching the snitch gave the team one hundred and fifty points.  That pretty much means whoever team catches it wins. So, I would let the other team seeker catch the snitch thus resulting in Slytherins loss. I would get away with this about two times until Albus kicked me off the team, maybe longer if I looked like I actually was trying. And I could do trying. Trying was easy, succeeding was the bitch. 

Of course, this plan had flaws; first I needed to get rid of the current seeker, which I didn’t think would be that difficult. I just have to find out who it is; I should stop zoning out when Cassie talks about quidditch. Then I had to get myself on the team, which could be hard considering Potter doesn’t like me and all. But I was determined. This was going to happen. It wouldn’t just stay in my imagination, it would become reality. 

Of course, Albus wouldn’t only be the casualty in this plan. Cassie was on the team and she would be angry with me if she found out what I was going to do. This is why I wouldn’t tell her. Even if she did find out, I was certain she wouldn’t stay mad at me for long. She never could.  I would have to fine tune my acting skills of course. I had garnered a few through the years, I could cry crocodile tears on command but I can never cry about the things that hurt me. Tears were only good for manipulation. I also had my ‘doe’ eyes as Damien calls them.  The look that so far has pretty much allowed me to get my own way or get out of trouble after the plans I mastermind go wrong. I thank my mom and dad for some semi-decent genes. I’ll just ignore the shortness, that I look a tad weedy, small ears, the fact my hair gets frizzy when it rains and I go cross-eyed if I stare at something for too long. That’s right, just focus on the good things. 

I was a champion.  I was a winner and it was time I showed this to Albus; Nott’s do not take anything lying down.

He wasn’t going to know what had hit him. Even though my wrath shouldn’t be a surprise, especially to him. 

It’s time to learn your lesson Albus Potter.


	5. The One Where The Plan Is Put Into Action

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hissed at them like I was a rabid animal.

**Chapter Five-**   
_The One Where The Plan Is Put Into Action_

 

 

  
  
_Amazing chapter image by Draco_Luva_

 

“And I want a lock of his hair, so I can attempt to clone him.” Lily Potter

“Cassie.” I called her as I drew a picture of a squid on a piece of paper.  Cassie and I were relaxing in the common room. Well, I was relaxing; she was glaring at her pile of homework. I had offered to throw her homework in the fire for her but she declined. Well, if asking ‘Are you on drugs Pippa?’ is classed as declining of course. I don’t even know what ‘drugs’ are. Stupid Cassie and huge crappy knowledge of all Muggle things. “Hello! Earth to Cassie!” I waved my hands in front of her face to try to get her attention.

She turned to me blankly clearly uninterested. “What do you want?” She asked a little snappily as she chewed her nails. I wish she wouldn’t. She has germs on her hand and thus is ingesting all these germs, everyday.  So, in all reality, I’m just hanging around with one big fat germ, full of diseases that are lying low until the perfect moment to attack me and kill me. I have tried to explain this to Cassie, but she just told me that I needed to get a grip on life. I then sprayed her with sanitising spray and she put me in a headlock that I swear almost broke my neck. It was bad times.

“You know the Quidditch try outs?” My appetite for destruction needed feeding. I felt both proud and disgusted with myself.  The emotions sat side by side. The scales kept tipping and I could no longer decide which one was stronger. It changed every second and Cassie’s eyes were hard to look into.  I wasn’t sure why.

Cassie rolled her eyes. “Of course, I am on the team you know.” She shook her head like I was an idiot.

I decided to ignore her grumpiness. I mean, it was only homework, she needed to chill out. “When are they?” I blinked innocently.

Cassie eyed me suspiciously. “They are in two and half weeks.” Cassie’s eyes narrowed as she stared me down. My stomach flipped. “Why do you want to know? You’re not planning anything are you?”

I shrugged casually like I wasn’t an evil genius mastermind. I couldn’t tell her about my plan, she wouldn’t understand. “No, nothing like that it’s just I’m thinking about taking up Quidditch.” I gave her my best sweet smile.

Cassie raised her eyebrows. “You playing quidditch?” She snorted at the mental image. “That is something I’d like to see. You’d be on your broom chilling, then a speck of dirt would hit you and you’d have a nervous breakdown.” I couldn’t deny it. It was true but I did my best to look deeply offended. “But whatever, this new development has me interested so it’s best not to question it.” She grinned at me.

“I’m so grateful for your support.” I huffed as I folded my arms across my chest. “You don’t believe in my dreams!” I cried out dramatically. A bit too loudly because people looked at me like I was weird. I hissed at them like I was a rabid animal.  People rolled their eyes and turned away from us. That’s right, people, just pretend you’re not scared, I know that deep down inside, you’re all quivering wrecks. You just hide it so well…I’ll hex them while they sleep later. Or I’ll set my unicorn on them. After my dad actually finds one, that is. I asked him for a unicorn at the age of four and twelve years later, I still have no unicorn. I wanted to feed it grapes and brush it’s hair.

Cassie snorted. “Okay, _sweetie_.” She breathed in heavily, trying to prepare herself to be a supportive friend. “I’m so excited for you for try out for the team!” She squealed. A fake squeal but a squeal never the less. “We’ll have so much fun! Running laps together! We can talk and catch up.”  She paused for a moment. “It’s not like we do that every day anyway because I tell you everything.” I cringed inwardly but there was a smile on my face. “What position do you want to play? We have a space for a keeper and a chaser, I think. Unless anyone else has quit on us.” She pondered the thought. “It has happened before because Potter is pretty hard on us. He only became Captain last year and the power has driven him crazy.” Cassie laughed at something but I didn’t understand what it was. Perhaps I would find out when I got a place on the team. If I ever did.

“I want to play Seeker.” I announced.

“Seeker? We already have a seeker.” She told me as she pondered her thoughts. “I can’t think of what position you would be good at.” She snapped her fingers. “I know! You’re good at being that person sitting in the stalls!”

“I do make a good audience member.” I said proudly.

“Except you won’t hold any banners telling me I’m amazing.  In fact no one would really know that you were a Slytherin except for the little sneer you’ve got going on and the fact that you are angry towards the world.” She jabbed me in the forehead. “You have no sense of house loyalty.”

“Of course I don’t.” I mocked. “I’m not a Gryffindor.”

Cassie laughed. “Thank merlin for that.”

“Anyway, I want to be a seeker!”

“Then start making miracles because Emmett isn’t shifting off the team.  He loves the game. I mean, he’s the sort of boy who practices when we're not around.”

“He needs a hobby.”

“Quidditch is a hobby.” Cassie smirked. “He needs a girlfriend.”

I thought about it for a moment. It made perfect sense, I mean, a girlfriend was an excellent distraction and love makes fools out of us all. If this said girlfriend asked him to give up quidditch, he would, if he loved her of course. “What’s this Emmett like?”

“He’s a forth year who is sort of cute, I guess. A little bit goofy once he starts talking, he once shared my drink, after I told him I was perfectly healthy of course.” Cassie shrugged. “But like I said, he just needs a few more things to focus his attention on.”

The ideas flooded my brain. I may have just thought of the perfect girl for him. Or at least a girl I could convince to go on a date with him or at least distract him for half an hour so I could show my amazing skills. That I need to fine tune, I have yet to get on a broom. “I think I have a plan.” I told her. “I’ll be back later.” I stared to walk away.

“Pippa, where are you going?” She called after me but I didn’t turn around. “Pippa, get your ass back here before I’ll hunt you down.” She threatened. “Don’t ignore me! Pippa!”

I ran up the stairs into the dormitory. It wasn’t empty like I thought it would be. _She_ was here.

Emilie Zabini was sitting legs crossed writing a letter. I could feel the breath hitch in my throat and my palms felt sweaty.

She was a girl with a complicated past, an insane family and a taste that was expensive. Her grandmother was a serious murderess, but you’re not allowed to say that out loud as it has never been proven. It’s just a rumour that’s true. Arrogance flowed through her veins and came across in everything she did. Apparently it was inherited as her father had this quality. I had gathered this from the stories my father told me to soothe me to sleep. Emile was physically beautiful but her personality made her ugly to me.  What she doesn’t realize is that beauty is only skin deep, it’s ugliness that goes right to the bone.

Emilie was once my best friend, along with Cassie.  It was us three. Until we each saw each other as the people we really were. It was bliss until everything was shattered and the shards couldn’t be attempted put back together. Too sharp, too dangerous, too much blood was spilled.  Before everything, we were three simple girls, now look at us. We were a little too fragile and a little too weak. We were surviving though and that was a skill in itself.  Maybe we were even happier.

For the first year of our estrangement, I missed her.  For the second year of our estrangement, I hated her. Now, it was the third year of our estrangement and I didn’t feel anything towards her. She would always own a small part of my heart but I was okay with that. While she was my friend, she was a good one. So I felt like she deserved that part of my heart. It wasn’t like the part she owned was active. It was the dead, wasteland part. It was a no go area, proceed with caution.

I wanted to say many things to her, but the words that were worth saying frightened me.  Perhaps if I had said the words that were on the tip of my tongue then we maybe, we probably wouldn’t be in this situation, careless words instead of heavy silence. I took in a deep breath.

This girl told me she cared, that it would be us three forever, she would never leave and I could always rely on her. It turns out she was a liar and a pretty damn good one at that.  She fooled me. She even fooled Cassie and she has issues with trusting people. People thought she trusted them but she didn’t but more often than not, her judgement was spot on, but Emilie deceived us all.  In my story, she was the evil, manipulative witch who broke something in us but in hers, I was the sadistic, crazy witch who destroyed us. It’s amazing how two people could take the same story and make them completely different. If I closed my eyes, I can replay that moment we broke like yesterday.

I should have never trusted the pretty girl with the ugliest secret.

Emilie didn’t even look at me. I shrugged. If that is how she wanted to play it then I was game.  She carried on writing her letter in her neat cursive handwriting. My own handwriting was scatty and messy. It was another thing she was better at.

Not that anyone was keeping count.

I went to my corner and grabbed a pink sparkly bag that Cassie brought me for a joke. I always found my things easy because I organized everything. Then I organized it again. It had its perks and its disadvantages. An advantage was that I knew where everything was and if someone had touched my stuff or taken anything. Disadvantage was that I got obsessed and I couldn’t decide what order was best. So many ways to organize things and not enough time to try them all.  I gave Emilie one last look. She was still writing. My presence meant nothing to her.

I shot her a weak glare as I straightened my sheets slightly until they looked perfect. I then quietly slipped out of the dormitory. I ran through the common room, I winked at Cassie who was talking to Scorpius.

“What is she doing?” Scorpius asked, as he looked at me strangely.  He was eating a bag of crisps. I hope he doesn’t complain that they have scratched his throat like last time.

“She’s doing something stupid of course.” Cassie responded.  "It is Pippa were talking about here."

"That's very true." Scorpius nodded. "Pippa’s an idiot."

I swore at them as I ran out of the common room. I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers to show how annoying they could be. If mom saw me swearing in such a Muggle manner she’d laugh, tell me not do it again and remind me how I was pureblood and above the rest. Sometimes I worry that my parents will develop a problem of me being friends with a Muggleborn.  My parents have never showed it outwardly but sometimes, I know they're thinking something wrong. Old habits die hard.

I walked quickly towards the kitchens. I was searching for the Hufflepuff common room. Yes, I was searching for the one and only Lily Potter. She was the girl who didn’t have an ounce of sanity, a naïve way of looking at things and she had crimson shoulder length hair. It was dyed to get the brighter colour but she had carried the look for so long that everyone had forgotten that it wasn’t entirely natural. I had only had a few interactions with her, all of them involving Damien in some way. She wanted to know what he was like when he was little; a little bit of an idiot, what he was like when we were growing up; a bigger idiot and what he was like now; a complete huge and utter idiot.

I was hovering outside the kitchens. I look like a weird stalker.  

“Oi you!” I yelled soon as I spotted a person from Hufflepuff. The girl just raised her eyebrow at me. Alright, maybe I was a little rude. I should always use my manners that were drummed into me since I was little but I still managed to forget them most of the time. It was like that time I burped in James Potter’s face when he came around ours for dinner. I got scolded for being unladylike but James found it hilarious and said it smelt like banana milkshake. “Hello!” I introduced myself to the random girl. “I’m Pippa Nott. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” I almost wanted to vomit about the fact that I was being charming. See? I could totally be nice. “I just wanted to know if you could find Lily Potter for me and bring here to see me?” The girl eyed me. “Don’t worry; I don’t want to eat her or anything weird like that.” I gave her my uncomfortable smile. “Pretty please?” She would have to do this for me, she was in Hufflepuff. Being nice was their thing.

She eyed me up and down. “Okay…I guess.” I grin wickedly at her. Things were falling to place. “On one condition though.”

I shrugged, “Name it?”

“You never speak to me again.” She stared at me with a look that was a mixture of fear and annoyance.

“Deal! You seem boring anyway.” She glared at me but walked off.  I wasn’t sure what I had done to offend her.

So, I waited there for at least five minutes until Lily appeared. No name girl had actually done what I asked. I would now pretend that I had never met her just like she asked. Unless of course, I ever needed her again.

Lily grinned happily at me. “Pippa! It’s strange to hear from you! I mean you hardly talk to me ever so I’m really surprised but it’s lovely! I thought you didn’t like me considering I stalk your brother and everything. He’s just so fit.” Lily sighed dreamily before she hugged me. Lily was hugging me. She was squishing my ribs. I didn’t hug her back; my arms just lay there by my side limply. She let go and her caramel coloured eyes stared at me with childish glee.  I would have to take a long bath later, Lily may look physically healthy but you never know. “What can I help you with my future sister in law?” She grinned and I managed to keep the shocked expression off my face.

“Let’s walk.” I said as I started to stroll. Lily followed me. “I need you to help me out, a favour of some sort.” Lily nodded. She was so naïve, I almost felt bad for a single moment. But who knows, maybe she’d fall in love with Emmett and they were supposed to spend forever together. It could be true love! I snorted, as if that actually existed. Love only existed to hurt. Or at least the people who I had ever loved used it that way. “I really want to play Quidditch.”  Lily blinked at me weirdly so I thought it was time to start lying. I didn’t like it but it needed to be done. “I feel quite distant from Damien at the moment and Damien loves quidditch. I thought I’d take it up so Damien could teach me and we could spend time together. You know, become as close as we used to be.”

“That’s completely understandable Pippa.” I think so too Lily. “Where do I come into this?” She chewed on her bubble gum. She blew a bubble and it exploded on her face. She picked if off ungracefully and stuffed it all back in her mouth. I was in the presence of a proper lady.

“Well…the position I want to play is seeker and there is already a seeker on our team. I was just wondering whether you’d go on a date with Emmett from our team and make him miss the try outs. The try outs are in two and a half weeks.  I think it would make my brother happy if I was able to get on the team.” Lily scrunched up her face. “I think you’d really like him.” I’ve never met the boy. “Of course, I don’t expect you to do this for free.” Lily perked up as I held up my pink sparkly bag. “I have a bunch of Damien things I have stolen over the years in this bag. You can help yourself if you go on one date with this boy. One date.”

“Okay, I’ll do it for you, my future sister in law.” Lily grinned happily as I passed the bag to her. “I mean, Damien takes what you say very seriously so I want you to like me.” Lily had just shown me how much she knows Damien; he doesn’t take anything I say to heart. His gift is ignoring all the advice I offer. Lily hummed happily to herself. “Just one date? I can do that and arrange that they clash with the try outs, I can do that too. But won’t Emmett be sad that he’ll miss the quidditch try outs?”

“Nah, I heard him talking about how he wants to give it up and find love or something like that.” I told her. I had never heard him speak. I didn’t actually know who Emmett was.

“Okay then. I’ll find him and I’ll ask him out.”  Lily was rummaging through the bag.

“I can also rob some items of clothing for you and maybe I could snip a lock of his hair off or something.” Lily’s eyes lit up. “I mean, whatever you want.”

“Well, I’ll take this piece of paper.” She took it from the bag, it was a picture of a smiley llama that Damien had drew me when I was eight years old and I was sick. “And I want a lock of his hair, so I can attempt to clone him.” Lily had the dreamy look in her eyes again.

“Okay!” I told her. I wasn’t sure what ‘cloning’ was but it sounded psycho.  “If I get my try out, you get a piece of his hair.” That means I’ll have to break into the Gryffindor dormitory again. It was hell first time and it’s not exactly easy.

Lily checked her dainty watch. It didn’t give me the same watch envy that Albus’ did. “It is dinner time, do you want to walk together?”

“Sure.”

That’s how I ended up strolling with Lily. I could see that we were getting weird looks. A Hufflepuff and a Slytherin, walking together like we were friends. And the fact that she was Lily Potter and everything she did got scrutinized. Now she was hanging out with a person with Death Eater connections. Lily gets more like her brother everyday. Haha.

We entered the great hall. I looked around, Cassie wasn’t here yet and neither was Scorpius but Damien was.  I was going to ask him to teach me how to play quidditch. He was currently talking to James and Fred.

“See you later Lily.”

“Bye Pippa.” She strolled to her own table and was suddenly surrounded by a lot people. Oh, to be young and popular!

“Hi.” I sat down on the Gryffindor table. I was spending so much time at this table that I should basically make this my new home.  

“I didn’t know you were friends with my sister.” James commented.

I shrugged. “There are a lot of things you don’t know about me.” I winked James shook his head laughing. “Damien I need you to help me.” I don’t mess around.

Damien stared at me like I was the devils incarnate. “You’re asking for help?” I nodded. “What do you want?”

“I need you to teach me how to play quidditch!”

“Sorry, I’m busy with my own team.” He shot me down immediately.

“Please?”

“I’m quidditch captain, I don’t have time to teach you quidditch. You _suck_ at quidditch anyway. I didn’t even know that you even _liked_ quidditch.”

“Well, I do and I need someone to teach me game!”

“No.”

“Damn you fool!” I yelled at him. I eyed James. “James, will you teach me?”

“Pippa.” He breathed. “I may just be the worst player in the whole history of quidditch. You don’t want tips from me. I tried getting on a broom yesterday and I fell off. Plus, I’m not really a fan.”

“That’s because you’re bad at it.” Fred smirked.

“True.” James laughed.

“Pippa, I’ll teach you quidditch.” Fred offered. “Meet me at the pitch tomorrow morning at eight.”

The plan was in action. I felt giddy, scared and excited. All at once. I think I’m going to throw up.

Breathe Pippa.

Just breathe.


	6. The One Where Everyone Has Issues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I rolled my eyes.

**Chapter Six-**  
_The One Where Everyone Has Issues_

  
  
_Amazing Chapter Image By Smile @TDA_

****

“I don’t want your future ugly first born." - Pippa Nott

****  


_  
**The sun glittered on my skin as I lay on the grass. He smiled at me as he tucked the strand of my hair that always fell in front of my face behind my ear.**  
_

**_“Pippa.” He breathed. I loved the way he spoke my name, he made it sound like a piece of poetry. “We need to talk.” I felt like I had been stabbed in the gut as I waited. He stared into my eyes, he was a master at torture. “You need more sleep. You look tired.”_ **

**_“Why sleep when I actually like reality?”_ **

**_“Sleep isn’t an option Pippa, it’s actually needed.” He ran his hair through his fingers as I looked at him with an innocent smile._ **

**_Love me, Love me, Love me._ **

**_“I’ll work on it.” I replied, giving in. It wasn’t my fault that I couldn’t sleep. “Is there anything else you need to talk about?”_ **

**_“I don’t know where to begin.”_ **

**_I kissed him. His kisses were like my drug that I wasn’t planning on giving up any time soon. I craved them, I needed them. He kissed me back with full force as he wrapped his hands around my waist. I smirked against his lips, he still wanted me. I still had the same affect on him as the first time. It wasn’t over yet. He wouldn’t leave me._ **_“I don’t know what to do.” He muttered softly as his fingers trailed my face._ ****

**_“Just shut up.” I whispered before placing my lips against his as I stroked my hand up and down his back._ **

**_“Okay.” He whispered before kissing me._ **

**_Although everything was alright for now, I couldn’t shake the sickness inside my stomach._ **

**I woke up startled and drenched in sweat. I had dreamt of _him_. **

**Him. Him. Him.**

I had cursed myself, I should never have let myself fall asleep because he plagued my nightmares.  He was the reason I was afraid of sleeping because every time I closed my eyes, he would be there with that aloof smile of his. His eyes bright and full of life. It was before everything was ruined. 

It was simple, one day he was there, the next he wasn’t. He left and he exploded my world into little bits. I didn’t understand it then and I’m not closer to understanding now. One minute he loved me, the next he didn’t. He told me I was a professional at self destruction and ruining things. I told him he was perfect. He said he couldn’t fix me, I told him he was the only thing keeping me together. 

I was a fool; I think I was in love. 

I slipped out of my bed and wrapped my arms around myself. Cassie was sleeping, her hair was sprawled across the bed, a small smiled played upon her lips and she was drooling slightly. It was an attractive sight. I walked into the bathroom and sat on the edge of the bath for a while as I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. I tried to shut down my thoughts but they flooded my brain. 

I often thought I was in a different world when I was with him; the world was brighter and better. The birds sang and nothing was impossible. But I was stupid, I was blinded. The world didn’t change it was just the same old bitter world who enjoyed messing with me. I was a different person with him, I was fake and I wasn’t me. He would never have loved the real me. I thought that maybe he could, but when I revealed the disappointment that is me, he said good bye.  I tried to be perfect for him, I failed. 

I walked over to the sink and turned on the tap as I looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was static. It needed a good brushing. My skin was pale and I needed several years of sleep. He always did have this ability to make everything seem shittier than it was. I turned the tap off and splashed my face.

He told me I was his reason for living. He lied because he’s surviving without me. He said he was happy to have me in his life then he proceeded to kick me out of it. He said he’d never break my heart, but stamped on it until it stopped.  He said he would always be here for me, but where is he now? He told me always and forever and I believed him. He didn’t mean it. He didn’t mean anything he said. 

Love was supposed to be a game but we all couldn’t win. I was a loser. I would never win at this game called love. So I have given up on it, given up on it all. 

People are people, sometimes it doesn’t work out. People clash and people hurt each other.  Sometimes love isn’t enough, especially a love that isn’t real in the first place.

He broke something inside of me and it took a long time to put myself back together. Those were the days I slept a lot. These are the days where I don’t sleep at all. Cassie helped to stitch me back together. If I didn’t have her, I would have gone crazy. 

I splashed my face cold water again. I breathed it. It was okay. I would be okay. He was my past and I had to focus on the future. I wouldn’t allow myself to think of him. 

I could do this. 

I pulled the plug on the sink and I watched the water drain. I wouldn’t allow this to mess with my head. I tiptoed across the room, grabbed the clothes I had laid out the night before and went to the bathroom to get ready. 

Once I was ready, I quietly slipped out of the dormitory. I didn’t want to wake anyone up as it was Sunday, so everyone slept in. I didn’t know why I worried, all the people in my dormitory slept like the dead. I stuffed my wand in my pocket for emergencies. 

I walked down the stairs, humming to myself. Today, I was going to learn how to play Quidditch. It would be a good day. Hopefully, I’ll find that I suddenly have skills and I don’t completely suck. 

That’s the dream anyway. No harm with having a dream. 

I strolled into the common room and I subconsciously glanced around to see if anyone was in there because I always liked to know what I was dealing with. I heard some soft breathing as I investigated. I found the person quickly, considering I am a super sleuth and the common room isn’t that big. 

Albus Potter.

I stared at him. Unlike last time, his sleep was peaceful. He was casually sprawled on the sofa without a care in the world. I frowned at him as the grumpiness of the morning kicked in. I pointed my wand towards the boy as I muttered a spell quietly. I smirked, staring at my work. 

The day had started to look up. 

Crap! I thought as something came to me. I had forgot to write Cassie a note telling her I where I was going. Cassie likes to know where I am. Otherwise she starts to panic that I have succumbed to an early demise. I ran up to the dorm.

“Accio quill and paper!” I muttered as soon as I entered the dorm. The quill and paper flew towards me. I put my wand down on the bed and I scribbled a note.

_C -_

_I’m learning how to play Quidditch, I’m at the pitch if you need me. Don’t touch my stuff, I’ll know if you have._

-          _P_

I stuffed it in her sleeping hand and ran out of the room. 

I arrived at the pitch at half eight. I was late, I always was. I was a control freak who didn’t quite get the concept of time. I had never been early for anything. It was one aspect of my personality that seemed to grate on people but it wasn’t like I hadn’t tried to destroy this part of me. I had left places really early to actually get there on times only to find I ended up lost or I got distracted like that time I spent an hour in a field crushing flowers because Damien had upset me that morning. My penchant for lateness was who I was but that didn’t mean I liked it. My stomach would always be tied in death hold knots as I strolled up to the person I was meant to be meeting. The familiar look of disappointment would always be there, grinning and taunting me. 

“Pippa, you’re late.” Fred remarked. I scanned him for anger but I found none. “But I knew you would be. Damien says you couldn’t be on time if it was to save your life.” A small smile perched itself upon my lips. I didn’t know why.  “He said you’d be at least an hour late but you’re only half an hour. I’m proud of you Pippa.”  He brushed his fingers through his dark hair. 

“Thanks.” I pulled a bobble off my wrist and tied my hair up into a ponytail. I figured flying would be hard when the wind had turned your hair into Medusa’s snakes. I didn’t want my own hair whipping me in my face. I could lose an eye. It wouldn’t be a great look. “I think I should warn you, I’m a lousy at flying.”

Fred looked confused for a single moment before he blinked it away.  “Why do you want to learn how to fly Pippa?”

“Because certain people need to learn their lesson.” I muttered. Oh crap. I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone.  I wished the ground would swallow me up in a giant whole and never let me out again. I coughed. “Only joking, I like toffee.” I told him as he raised his eye brow. Toffee? I like toffee? That was the best thing my brain could have thought of in those single moments? _Toffee?_ I don’t even _like_ toffee. I’m more of a fudge girl. Toffee takes too long to eat and it hurts my jaw. “What I actually mean is I’m a little bit sleep deprived so ignore the garbage that is coming out of my mouth.” Ah! Brain, you’re back. It’s nice to see you again. I’ve missed you, please don’t leave me again, I’m needy. 

“Yeah, I can tell.” He smirked as he eyed me. 

I frowned. “Are you telling me I look like utter crap Fred Weasley?” I had used his full name. He just got _owned._ I would sell him and get enough money for a bar of chocolate. Oh! I could just imagine it now. Maybe Fred was even worth two bars of chocolate. Now that would be heaven. Two whole bars of chocolate just for one whimsical boy? Sounds like a good deal to me. 

“Erm.” Fred stuttered as I gave him my first prized death glare. “What I meant to say was that you look tired...” I just stared at him. “Not that you aren’t nice looking or anything like that, well…when you smile you are…your frown sort of scares me…no offence…erm…it’s not like it’s not a nice frown or anything like that erm-“

“-Fred.” I interrupted. 

“Yes?” He gulped.

“Shut the hell up.” I smiled sweetly. “Or prepare to die.” 

“Got it.” He nodded smiling to himself. “Even though, if we were to fight, you’d lose.”  He was taller, broader than me, but so was that chunky tree in the distance. 

“The only weapons I have are words.” I sniggered. “That and my brilliant mind which is full of cunning plans.” Fred snorted. I glared at him, he shrugged. “I have plans Fred, just you wait. You’ll see.” Then I cackled. Oh my god. I just cackled like a witch! Ah crap! I am a witch. I meant cackled like a story book witch. You know the cliché ones with moles on the end of a hook nose and green skin? Plus they are always slightly bitter and always old. My mom once told me bitterness came with age because you stopped being able to see the things you could before. Life has a habit of wearing you down unless you find happiness in misery. 

“Did you cackle?” Fred asked with raised eyebrows. 

“No.”

“I swear you just did. “

“No, I didn’t.” I denied. “It never happened.” 

“Alright, you weirdo, you didn’t.” Fred paused. “But you so did.” He grinned at me before laughing.  “You cackle! It was so funny, please do it again, I’ll give you money, my first born, anything you want!”

“I don’t want your future ugly first born.”  I folded my arms across my chest grumpily.  

“My first born wouldn’t be ugly with me as its father.”

“I beg to differ you fool!”

“Oh, rush me to the burn unit!” Fred clutched his heart as if he was in deep pain. “That cut deep, Pippa. I don’t know whether I can go on living with this knowledge; that you think I’m a fool.” Then Fred fell to the floor and lay there for a while. “If you haven’t realized, this is me dead on the floor.” He then pulled a weird looking dead face. I pity the fool who dies looking like that. I hope I’m frowning, I want to be like I was in life; a grumpy git. I just stared at Fred. “Dude! Don’t you care that I’m dead? It’s your fault! You broke my heart and I simply couldn’t continue living.”

“You’re a big drama queen.”  I poked his leg with my foot. “And I have news for you, _sweetie_ ; the dead don’t speak.”

“Then I’m a zombie, _baby_.” 

“Don’t _baby_ me.” I warned him. 

“Don’t _sweetie_ me.” He smirked. 

“You’re so funny sweetie.”  I mocked him. 

“Oh baby, if you weren’t the one, I’d left by now.”  He smirked. “I invented this game Pippa, you won’t win.” 

The game was simple, whoever freaked out first lost. I freaked out about a lot of things but I could handle vomit inducing words against me. I mean, my mother calls me her little pip. 

“Pumpkin, why are you so bitter?”

“Because of you my cuddle bug, you’ve driven me to insanity.”

“Oh honey, I can change!”

He sat up. “You said that the last time princess.” He wiped fake tears from his eyes. “But you lied didn’t you?”

I pouted. “I’ll try for you, give me a chance darling!” I held out my hand. He took it but pulled me down with him. Fred had just pulled me onto the grass; I was going to kill him. It was slightly muddy and I was going to get grass stains. Grass stains are a bitch to get out. I had them on my knees and elbows because I hadn’t fallen down gracefully. My life is over. Fred was a lot cleverer than I thought. I frowned, Fred couldn’t possible know about my little _quirks_. Before today, we had barely spoken but he put me at ease. I didn’t understand how he did it but I was becoming comfortable with him. Not comfortable enough to show I was insane, comfortable enough to show I was weird. I wasn’t sure whether I wanted another person in my life. I didn’t understand this nor did I know what was happening. This put me on edge slightly. Maybe I was overacting; perhaps Fred would never speak to me again. Perhaps I’m dreaming. I needed to clean. I scrambled up and tried to neaten myself up as I sat next to Fred on the dirty grass. I tried not to shudder as I imagined the germs crawling on my skin. 

“Okay flower, but break my heart again and we’re over.”  Fred laughed. “And if you cackle again we’re over because I don’t like it.” He paused as I breathed in the air. “You know what Pippa?”

“What?”

“You’re not so bad.” He smiled softly at me. 

I felt sick. I wasn’t a good person. I sighed, Fred would soon learn about the person I was and he wouldn’t like what he would see. His illusion of me would be shattered. I wasn’t the person he thought I was. Just like he wasn’t the person I thought he was.  “I’m not good Fred, I just am.” 

“I think you’re too negative on yourself. You’ll never get anywhere if you don’t believe in yourself.” I believed I could take down Albus Potter. I think that counts. 

“Save your fucking lecture Fred. I don’t want to hear it.” The venom poured out of my mouth, attacking the boy who had only ever shown me kindness. He didn’t deserve it, I knew that but I couldn’t stop. “You don’t know anything about me so don’t try to understand because you never will.”

“Oh really?” Fred laughed. It wasn’t his kind laugh that I was used to. It was mocking. “I know that you used to be different, then shit happened. Yeah, your best friend hurt you, then your boyfriend and they both left you but-” Fred stopped suddenly. He stared at me with this knowing look. He understood. I closed my eyes for a few moments. I pushed people away because I was petrified of getting hurt again. I didn’t want anyone to get that close. I didn’t want to care about anyone. “I get it.” He sighed. “I got a little too close with a tiny compliment and now you’re freaking out. Your brother said you had some issues but this is ridiculous!” I ignored him stared at my shoes. They had mud on them, they would need cleaning later. I made a mental note to do it as soon as possible. I would make them shiny and perfect again. “Pippa, not everyone is out to screw you over. I’m only trying to be your friend; you don’t seem to have a lot of those.” He waved his hands in front of my face. “Look at me and listen.”

“No you listen.” I argued as I avoided eye contact. If I got eye contact, I would melt and become his friend. This couldn’t happen. “It’s just best if you stay away from me.” I was brilliant at pushing people away who tried to get close. I should teach a master class on it.  “I’m sorry I asked you to teach me.” This was a lie. I was enjoying myself before I felt suffocated.  “I’m only learning to screw someone else over.” I covered my mouth, I had said too much. I always say too much, I need to learn when to just shut the hell up. “Just ignore anything I say. Okay?” I panicked, as I thought about him judging me, him finding out about my beautiful plan and ruining it. 

Fred opened his mouth to say something but he never got the chance. 

“…What’s going on here?” Damien asked with James by his side. Damien grinned at me as I took in the situation. So, I was a little too close to Fred’s face. Yes, we were invading each others personal space but it was all innocent. I coughed at I moved away from Fred a little.

“Absolutely nothing.” I replied. 

“Hmm.” Damien said, clearly not believing me. 

“I complimented your sister and she went ballistic.” Fred answered. “She has issues.”

“Welcome to my world.” Damien replied as I glared at him. I did not have issues! I was a perfectly functioning person…okay, so maybe I did but doesn’t everyone?  I mean you only have to take a glance at the people in my life to show that being normal is actually odd. 

I mean James kept a man-journal until he was fourteen.  He only stopped because I found it and read little abstracts over the dinner table and kept quoting my favourite lines to him.  It was basically James being a bit whiny about his hair, his insane family and the fact that he talked to his pet lizard, Crippen everyday.  He also called his man journal Cleopatra. If that’s not weird, I don’t know what is. Damien only learnt his right from left at twelve and used to own a teddy bear called Cliff.  Cassie has already name her future children and once delivered a smack down on me because I hid the ketchup. And Scorpius? I’m surprised he can get himself dressed in the morning. 

“Damien, do you really want to start this game?” I told him grumpily. “Because hey, I’m your sister, I know _things_.” I knew today was Sunday and my name was Pippa. Everything else is up for debate. 

“Okay, whatever Pippa.” Damien brushed me off. My brother has this serious problem of not taking me seriously. “So, how is the lesson going?” He asked casually, but I knew he was interested. There was probably a bet somewhere in the mix that Damien was riding on. James and Damien like making bets. It’s how the losers passed the time. 

“We haven’t started yet.” Fred laughed. “Okay, to begin lets pick up the damn broom.” We stared at each other for a moment before normalcy returned. We had made a silent agreement to take ten steps back to when everything was normal. I knew I would never talk about it again, I wasn’t that sure about Fred. 

I stood up and I picked up the broom. “It’s a bit heavier then I thought it would be.” I remarked as James laughed, Damien slapped his forehead and Fred just sighed. “What?” I shrugged. “It is.” I always thought they were lighter. 

“Just sit on it and kick off.” 

“Easier said that done.” I muttered as I sat on the broom. Thank god for cushioning charms. “So I just kick off now?” I asked, a little hesitation creeping into my voice. 

“This is going to be funny.” Damien snickered. 

I kicked off and I was hovering. Holy crap. This was scary. I understood why Scorpius was scared of heights. I was only about ten inches from the ground and I was almost ready to give up because I kept on having visions of me falling off and dying. I didn’t want to die. I was not ready to die. I hadn’t caused enough trouble for people yet. 

“Philippia Nott!” Someone yelled which startled me so I tumbled onto the floor clumsily. All those lessons about how to be graceful was clearly a waste on me. Mum would be so disappointed. 

“Ouch.” I muttered as I rubbed my hands. “Who the hell yelled because I’m going to kick their-” I didn’t finish because I was confronted with a very pissed looking Albus Potter. I quickly brushed myself off the floor.  “Hi Potter, what’s up?” I asked with a fake smile. 

“ _What’s up_?” Albus hissed. “ _This_!” He pointed to his forehead. Oh, he finally realized I had written idiot on his forehead then. 

I tried to look understanding but I was finding it hard not to laugh. “Oh my gosh Potter, who did that?” 

“I think you know who did it.”

I shrugged. “I actually don’t.”

Albus held up the palm of his hand. I read the writing on it, _‘love Pippa’_.  Crap! I had forgotten I marked my handy work. I am so stupid at times. I belong in a house with other stupid people. I should not be allowed to converse with normal, intelligent people. I made a mental note next time to not tell my mortal enemy that it was I who drew idiot on his forehead. James, Fred and Damien all burst out laughing. 

“Sucks to be you, doesn’t it?” I asked.

“Get it off now.”

“That’s not really polite now is it?” I sighed as Albus seethed. 

“I mean it! I can’t get it off.”

“That’s because only Pippa can.” Damien joined in as he tried to hold in his laughter. “She’s done that to me hundreds of times, don’t worry, if she doesn’t take it off, it expires in a week.”

“A week?” Albus rubbed his idiot forehead. “That’s far too long. I need you to take it off now.” 

“And why would I do a stupid thing like that?”

“Since when did you two go daggers at dawn with each other?” Damien asked, interrupting our sniping. 

“Since he was a twat.” 

“Since she was a bitch.”

“Oh screw you!” 

“I’d rather die.” 

“You’ve always been unlikable, now you’re just so ridiculously annoying that every time you speak, I lose my will to live.” I yelled at him. I actually yelled. I didn’t yell that often because I didn’t think people needed to see that they had got to me but this was something different. Hatred prickled my skin, it was like the monster that always lived inside of me was awake and was making up for lost time. Albus brought out my worst side. A side that I wish I didn’t have. 

“Pippa.” My brother put his serious voice on. “Fix his damn forehead.”

“I can’t.” I hissed. “I left my wand behind.” I told him. I had left it on my bed this morning when I wrote the note to Cassie. I hope no one steals it again. It took me ages to find it last time.

“Then let’s go.” Albus grabbed my arm and began dragging me to the castle. My brother just stood there and watched. That twat wasn’t even going to come and save me! I could be murdered. It was weird, Damien was always funny about… _him_ but he was fine with Albus kidnapping me. My brother is an oddball.  

“Un hand me you beast!” I muttered. “I won’t do it you know.” Albus said nothing but kept his grip firmly on my arm. “You can’t make me.”

Albus laughed. “Just give it up.” 

“No.” 

Albus shook his head with a small smile on his face. 

Jerk. 

We had made it inside the castle. People were giving us odd looks. I made sure to give a dirty look to everyone. I didn’t want to show favouritism.

“People are giving us weird looks.” I hissed. “I wish every move you did wasn’t scrutinized by everyone.”

“I wish that too.” 

I stopped walking and he jerked. 

“What the hell?” He snapped. “Come on!”

“Okay.” I said weakly. 

Albus shot me one last look before he started walking again. His grip never left my arm. He seemed to know as soon as he let go, I would run. Albus had made confession number two. I really should stop speaking altogether, that way I would never learn things I didn’t want or need to know. 

We walked towards the common room. Albus muttered the password before strolling inside with me being awkwardly dragged behind him. He brought me to the entrance of the girl’s dormitories. “I’ll wait here.” He told me. “If you’re not down in five minutes, I’ll send an army up there to get you.” Ah, what a gentleman. 

“I’m petrified.” I rolled my eyes as I pushed past him. I hated getting up these stairs, there was too many of them. I huffed and puffed up the stairs. I needed to go running. 

I weighed my options as I pushed open the door to the dormitory. Should I remove it? Or should I keep being stubborn? I picked up my wand and twirled it in my fingers. I still needed to get on the team and the captain hating me doesn’t bode well. Maybe I should beg for his forgiveness and say I was sorry? Hmm, that doesn’t sound like something I would ever lower myself to. 

I decided I would just figure it out when I saw him, because time was ticking and I didn’t doubt that a crazy army was waiting in the shadows. I cursed, this was my bloody life? This was ridiculous.  I wanted a refund or an exchange. 

When I got downstairs, I found myself presented with an unusual sight. Albus was talking to Emilie. Before now, I didn’t know that they even knew each other; then again, I had never really paid attention to Albus much. He got attention off everyone else, why did he need mine? Emilie was smiling at him and Albus was staring at her with his normal blank look. A look that is encrypted, you can neither tell if he’s interested or if he’s being bored to death. 

Emilie spotted me first. Her dark eyes grew cold at my presence. “Nott.” She smirked. I just stared at her. Usually Emilie and I exchange no words. We were too above ourselves to argue with each other. We had too much pride. I thought I had missed the words but now I’ve got them back, I realized I actually preferred the silence. “It’s been a while, bitch face.”

“Always the pleasant one aren’t you?” I shrugged. “It obviously hasn’t been long enough.”

Emilie rolled her eyes. 

I rolled my eyes. 

Emilie frowned.

I frowned.

Emilie glared.

I glared.

Emilie delivered a cruel blow. “I see he has finally left you.” My composure crumpled a little. I would not break in front of Emilie. “I mean, it’s about time. He was only deluding himself when he said he loved you.” I bit my lip. “I mean, you’re nothing special and you never deserved him.” I must not break Emilie’s perfect nose. Not again anyway. “I guess things worked out in the end didn’t they?” Her eyes twinkled. 

I opened my mouth to say something but I never got the chance.

“Lay off, Emilie.” Albus rolled his eyes. “I mean, did you take an extra dose of bitch this morning?”

Emile frowned and shook her head. “You’re an idiot Potter.” With that, she walked off like a puppy with her tail between her legs. 

“What did you do that for?” I shouted. “I had it completely under control!”

Albus laughed. “When did you have it under control? Before or after you were going to cry?”

I gasped. “I was not going to cry!” I do not cry. Not now, not ever. 

Albus rolled his eyes. “Sure, you weren’t.” 

“I don’t need you to come in and save me you know, I can fight my own battles.”

“You’re doing a splendid job of it so far. You let that girl talked to you like you were crap. You just took it.” Albus shook his head. “I’m surprised, normally you’re like a bull in a china shop, crashing, destroying, not a meek little doll. You’re a girl with a big mouth.”

I pointed my wand at him and muttered the spell. In seconds his forehead was back to normal. “There!” I yelled furious. “Now go away.” I wished he would crawl into a hole and die. “And don’t go lecturing me. Since when do you stick up for strangers? You don’t give a crap about anyone but yourself.”

“I could say the same thing about you.”

“Do you know what? I don’t need this.” I ran towards the stairs. I looked at him. “Goodnight, I hope you choke in your sleep later on.” In that moment, that was the only thing I would have wished for. I was a bitter little sod, but so was Albus. I had seen a spark tonight; the anger brought the puppet to life. A little switch clicked and I was in the presence of the real Albus Potter. 

I never wanted to see that person again. 

Because that person made me feel something real and I hadn’t felt something like that for a while.


End file.
